That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 21, 2019

It’s a big deal when the King’s Tinder date arrives.

If you’re concerned about the carpet, I’d worry more about what the monkey’s doing than anyone’s sandals.

The Queen of Sheba displaying her swagger to King Solomon.

“Honey, if you don’t get the air conditioner fixed the seventh veil is coming off too! My pits haven’t been dry for a month!”

“Forgive the mess, you did not give me time to clean the palace.”

“My God Carol. I go away for a week…wait are those Peacocks? Why are there Peacocks in the living room?”

next on “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire”: contestant number 3, come on down! It’s time for your test ride.

“It’s good to be the king!” Mel Brooks, History of the World, Part I.

“We’ll take out these stairs for a more open floorplan, and remove those columns and put in some French doors for natural lighting. . . .”

I’m telling you, if those roofers come up with one more excuse, and don’t show, there will be hell to pay.

They said "you ain’t visiting Rome/ so she just took her toothbrush and comb/ she was sorely distressed/ as they stared at her breast/ that she’d left her brassiere at home.

Nice place, but no roof. Funding for this project is a no-brainer. C’mon people, join in, “WHAT DO WE WANT? WE WANT A ROOF! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? WE WANT IT NOW!” Everybody, “WHAT DO WE WANT? WE WANT A ROOF! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? WE WANT IT NOW!”

“Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of Ikea Baghdad!”

His head? You sure know how to kill a good party vibe. Tell me again what you got against this John The Baptist guy…

“Welcome to the Bacchanal. Seating near the restroom requires a reservation.”

King Thaddeus the first, just banned bras from his castle, the guys loved him. gals were indifferent.

“Take one step forward! No, go back! I didn’t say ‘Solomon Sez!’ "

That architecure doesn’t exactly scream “carpet!”

Leave your sandals on. The flea treatment on the carpet hasn’t dried.