Last Kiss by John Lustig for June 28, 2019

Sounds like Linda needs the .. Ronco Little Giant Jar Opener!! As seen on (extremely late night) TV!! Batteries not included.

In the Last Kiss Zone all the jars are filled with irony!

…and open a package of batteries easily.

Our mother actually taught us how to open jars, while we were growing up.

For a woman to increase her wrist and hand strength, she needs to give plenty of … I can’t believe how disgusting I just got!

The next thing you know she’ll want to vote!

Sure it starts out innocently with jar opening, but then leads to the darker realms, like taking out the trash, lawn mowing, and yes…changing the oil.

Some comic once commented that whenever he had an argument with his wife he’d sneak into the kitchen and tighten all the lids so she’d have to talk to him

The power to go catatonic watching football!

She may learn the jar power move but she’ll never reach our male highest achievement. To be gross on command.

Women will always need us for one thing… I just can’t remember what it is… ☺

Maybe she needs to move to that island where Wonder Woman grew up. Now those women could tighten my jar anytime

And smashing bugs!

I do not dream of a world where we don’t need men, just a world where the ratio of good guys to bleepholes is reversed.

Sure-fire easy way: turn the jar upside-down and slam it down twice on the floor or other hard surface. If you have a really stuck one, run the lid end under hot water for a bit before slamming. 100% guaranteed.

“And underwear is all cotton and just made to fit!”…

I have this cool jar opener I have had for 40 years. I have never had.to ask to have a jar opened. Well, almost never!

…and men’s last useful function is gone forever.