Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 19, 2020
January 18, 2020
January 20, 2020
Transcript:
april is national poetry month! beowulf in under 90 seconds here's a famous poem condensed! king: damn. click the monster grendel is ravaging the country, devouring likewise warriors, maidens, merchants & passersby, effectively slowing the flow of tourist dollars to a thin trickle, much to the consternation of king hrothgar. whap whap comes the hero beowulf, who slays the monster grendel by pulling his (grendel's) arm clean off & slapping him with it fiercely about the head. beo: freeze! beowulf next deals with the monster grendel's mother in a bloody & protracted battle with much potential for cinematic spectacle given the right director (john woo?) & a sufficient budget. the grateful king hrothgar now gives beowulf the hand of his beloved daughter, princess wideload. beowulf opens a hero-themed restaurant where they slaughter the oven right at your table.
HappyDog/ᵀʳʸ ᴮᵒᶻᵒ ⁴ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ Premium Member almost 5 years ago
I’d call that a short story. It had no iambling pentagons like a poem should.
Teto85 Premium Member almost 5 years ago
One of our cats is nicknamed “Princess Wideload.”
DCBakerEsq almost 5 years ago
I wish more fairy tales involved bazookas.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] almost 5 years ago
The monster and his mother had sinews and thews of incredible power.
Sisyphos almost 5 years ago
Not exactly as I remember the epic, but nonetheless I do like this snappy version!