Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 26, 2020
May 25, 2020
May 27, 2020
Transcript:
hot 'n' humid like the eskimos, who supposedly have dozens of words for "snow," d.c. area resi-dents use a varied & colorful vocabulary to describe gradations of "hot & humid." guy 1: muggy. guy 2: and how "muggy" - your basic hot & humid day. the atmosphere transmutes to bus exhaust and normally stable objects run like brie. woman: sure is sticky. man: just get me out of ere "sticky" - lawn chairs, car seats and underwear become lethally adhesive. spatula sales go through the roof. blam dude: it's a scorcher! "scorcher" - that guy down the block who always jogs no matter what explodes. the tourist evaporation index soars. "stifling" - the air becomes too dense for soundwaves to penetrate. birds get stuck in midair. dude 2: man, it's sweltering! "sweltering" - deep sea volcanic vents pop up in your backyard, attracting creatures only recently discovered by science who thrive on heat and high pressure. one more good reason not to mow your lawn.
gbars70 over 4 years ago
I could just see the tiny covid creatures fanning themselves, their little red spiky thingies wilting in today’s upper 70 temps. Tomorrow we will have temps in the mid to upper 80’s and with it comes the coronavirus apocalypse (or possibly something a little less dramatic).
DCBakerEsq over 4 years ago
Austin. Texas. September. Woo-eee.
Sisyphos over 4 years ago
It does get deliciously hot and humid in D.C.! Not a place to be in summertime!