Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 27, 2020
May 26, 2020
May 28, 2020
Transcript:
summer weeding guide boorish ivy - if ignored will quickly grow into the shape of unwanted lawn objects (flamingo, chevy up on blocks, any large abandoned appliance). especially unnerving for those under autocratic neighborhood associations. dandelion 1: tie his shoelaces, together. dandelion 2: pure evil! dandelion.org - densely intertwined root system creates a sentient hive-mind prone to acts of petty maliciousness. sphincterwort - (methanium) an en-tirely unnecessary evolutionary devel-opment. too nasty to even draw. touchyweed - oversensitive to the needs of rootbound americans. runs screaming to the aclu when pulled up. rakeseed - step on it and the stalk flies up and hits you in the face! nature at its most playful! farmer: owch.
DCBakerEsq over 4 years ago
We have a simple solution. Our HOA banned all weeds. Problem solved.
fritzoid Premium Member over 4 years ago
My favorite one of these (obviously not in this installment) is the False Tea Rose: “Looks and smells just like a lovely tea rose. But it’s not, it’s a weed! Kill it!”
gbars70 over 4 years ago
Acceptable or not, boorish ivy lawn jockey.
Sisyphos over 4 years ago
Shh. Respect the weeds and maybe they won’t kill you!