Rubes by Leigh Rubin for September 18, 2019

The rhymes just won’t be the same.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty saw it was tall. He climbed right on down, went home with a frown. No room for risk, only safety for all.

“No more well drilling on top of the hill…” M. Goose.

this reminds me of the time i had to fix a trailer in a nuclear clean up site. it would have taken 8 weeks of training to change a light bulb…..

Helmet or not, that wall doesn’t look up to code.

Is that helmet certified crack proof?

How did Humpty get on the wall?

this is just cracked…

For full safety compliance, shouldn’t the helmet on Humpty Dumpty come down to his knees? Or if those pants are impact absorbent, they should come up to meet the bottom of the helmet. (Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s a cartoon…)

Jack and Jill have to use a faucet on level ground

Why does he look like a thumb?

There should be a sign saying that sitting on the wall is prohibited.

And the elbow and knee pads?

Good thing. The King’s men are busy putting emission control devices on the King’s horses.

Good! There’s way too much violence in those nursery rhymes.

If it is really safety-compliant why is the wall still there??

Well, Jack certainly wouldn’t have broken his crown if he was wearing a helmet!

If the egg is packed in a plastic jar of peanut butter, it will survive the fall. ( physics challenge winner in high school)