Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 16, 2020

Arlene thinks that Henry needs to go about two feet farther.

Just give her the crossword puzzle. You can read the comics later.

Captain Arlene has no patience with mutineers.

You should have built that shark-infested moat as she requested, Leroy.

Don’t be obtuse, my dear Plankster, or Arlene will make sure you get the point!

She doesn’t think so.

Actually, Henry, I don’t think it’s gone quite far enough…

If that plank were a few feet longer it would probably bend down enough to touch the walkway…

You could step off and make a run for the Tiki, where the rum is smooth, and the sun is always over the yardarm.

As it is, it’s a short jump… but I haven’t seen any sharks about, so fear not.

Cap’n Arlene will soon set a course for calmer waters…

and then I’m sure she’ll welcome her crew back aboard.

At least you are not going to drown!!! you can just step off that plank!

This is Arlenes way of saying touché!

Arlene just wants him to go get the groceries. She’s reminding him to get some fresh corn, it’s on sale… a buck-’n-ear.

Arlene showed some ingenuity with those railings and two planks; all aboard!

Arlene runs a tight ship.

Arlene has been watching the Errol Flynn Marathon on BTCM.

You buy her those cheap chocolates from the gas station, this is what happens.

“Ya takes the last Long John Sliver and ya takes the consequences!”

Just be glad she didn’t try to keel haul you.

Just be happy she isn’t keelhauling you. Being dragged through the crawl space under your house isn’t fun.

Avast, ya scurvy knave!