Brevity by Dan Thompson for December 23, 2019

“What happened with Miss Fanny Bright?” “Don’t ask. It still upsots me.”

“Excuse me. I have to tinkle.”

He’s a ding-dong, with a lot of brass.

He can’t get a handle on his dating situation because he doesn’t listen to himself.

He thinks he deserves a beautiful belle… maybe one who’s a ringer for Bell-a Hadid…

but nothing much about him is a-pealing…

All his boasts ring hollow.

Besides, all he wants is to “go all the way.”

He doesn’t even think about love or a relationship…

Or (forgive me, but I have to say it) not spreading the clapper.

Ring My Bell

Anita Ward

I’m glad you’re homeNow did you really miss me?

I guess you did by the look in your eye(Look in your eye, look in your eye)

Well lay back and relaxWhile I put away the dishes (put away the dishes)

Then you and me can rock a bell

You can ring my bell, ring my bell

You can ring my bell, ring my bell

You can ring my bell, ring my bell

You can ring my bell, ring my bell

The night is youngAnd full of possibilities

Well, come on and let yourself be free, yeahMy love for you (love for you, love for you)

So long I’ve been savin’Tonight was made for me and youYou can ring my bell, ring my bell

(Ring my bell, ding-dong-ding)

You can ring my bell, ring my bell

(Ring my bell, ring-a-ring-a-ring)

You can ring my bell, ring my bell

(Ring my bell, ding-dong-ding)

You can…

Source: LyricFind

(Man I must be getting old to remember this)

He’s a scary one, a slay bell.

Those bar-bells are all alike. They’re always thinking within their ding-dongs!

Actually, he looks more like the type that would prefer a hand job.

Buncha dingalings, ya ask me.

Carol of the Bells could ring his chimes.

Is that Bob and Dong McKenzie?

That has a sour ring to it.

She’d welcome Quasimodo’s touch! He’ll rope her in and take her “all the way”!

He could get the clap-per.