The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 08, 2020

It takes two hours to prepare for the race.

A race for a centipede and a half!

We used to do that at the company picnics.

Wouldn’t that be a “150-Legged Race”?

Q: What goes 99-thump 99-thump 99-thump?

A: A centipede with a wooden leg!

This one convulsed them in third grade, half a century ago… :D

Imagine buying all those shoes for the race…

Step by step by step by step by step by step…

Big cheating scandal, a millipede sneaked into the race.

Just before the starter gun goes off point out the shoe that’s untied.

So do all of your feet need to cross the line to be declared the winner or just the front ones?

The last leg is a killer.

My 39th left foot is SORE; ouch, ouch, ouch…..

Scott, Love your clever, subtle sense of humor. I just bought two of your books and am enjoying them to the limit. Keep up the good work!! The world needs to laugh more.

When are the venom sac races?

I vote for Team Tongue-Glasses, not that there is anything wrong with joining a biped with an arthropod.

Centipedes have an odd number of pairs of legs, so I don’t think a 300 legged race would be possible.

I agree. Gary Larson would have had the banner read “303 Legged Race.” All his readers would have said to themselves “Huh. I wonder why Larsen made it a 303 legged race.” They would then look it up and learned something new.

They must be bicentipedes, if they were mere centipedes that would be a 150 legged race.