Eek! by Scott Nickel for January 07, 2020

Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they’ll have. The first vampire says “Bloooood!” The second vampire says “Bloooood!” The third vampire says “Plaaasma!”, and the bartender says “So that’s two bloods and a blood lite.” (Apologies to the author of the Halloween card I stole that from.)

Man, I just donated some the other day too.

He count get enough.

Put a pin in it.

Well, bust my buttons!

I would think old blood might not be good for vampires.

Reminds me of a short Clark Ashton Smith story of a Necromancer dies and later in his vault awakens to a kind of pseudo life. After a time he gets this terrible thirst. One that cannot be quaffed by wine or water or anything else except hot gushing human blood. Why? The reanimated Necromancer had no idea and when he is gorged like that vampire, for you see the blood isn’t metabolized, someone pops the weasel.

Unless he gets a piano case (a la Haystacks Calhoun) with his native soil, he’s going to have a hell of a time sleeping off that bender.

Hey, you should have stockpiled some of that plasma for future consumption rather than gorging on all of it at once!