Reality Check by Dave Whamond for April 25, 2020

Ralph Sr?

But yeah, they always ask you when you can do nothing but nod or say mmmppphh….mmmmm….phyn

Have you noticed the servers always time it to ask you how it is when you’re mouth is full?

Just give him a thumbs up …. or down.

Kind of a personal question… isn’t it?

The French do the same… they wait until you mouth’s full before greeting you with “Bon appétit”… When you try to politely respond, you end-up spraying your food everywhere… Been there, done that, and my T-shirt carried the brunt of it…

Protect your nuts, men.

“Hello. My name is Ralph, I’ll be your waiter and you won’t see me until it’s time to leave the check.”

So the rule is … no Ralph when the ’toon features his friends and/or family?

i aint touching this one with a ten foot pole……..

Pairing nuts with a rosé? I would’ve gone with a nice Riesling.

It’s a buffet and the waiter is testing to see if Ralph is trying to take out for later.

Same as your dentist trying to have a conversation while she/he has both hands in your mouth along with a lot of machinery.

This does not bother me as much as when the server drops off the bill and you don’t see him/her for another 15 minutes with the payment machine. That’s why I love Olive Garden in the US. Payment machine at every table. I’m done and I want to pay and leave immediately.

Ralph has a nutorious reputation.

Waitstaff 101

Deliberate. Your mouth full = less able/likely to complain.

I like mixed nuts.

“Mmmfff!”

Is this waiter a dentist in training?

Do you have a light? OK, outdated, I know, but..

Send in a hamster to mess with the waiter. The hamster will look like that with its pouches full, but should be able to verbally attack the waiter.

Creative!