Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for March 18, 2020

“Wait, there’s an oil leak, at least I think it’s oil.”

Ruh-Ro

“Bad dog, Remy! No heated seats!”

Remmy knows how to diversify his accidents!

Hey… she’s the one who sent him for that crash course at the obedience school.

Poor thing. He tries so hard to be a good dog.

She’s obviously unclear on the concept. Can someone explain to her what it means when your dog gets a license?

Spray on carpet cleaner will be of little help to clean up this mess.

He had been drinking at the local watering bowl.

No biscuit for you!

I had a truck – a beat-up old Ford Bronco II. It belonged to my dog. I was NOT allowed to drive the truck unless the dog rode shotgun. I used the truck primarily to run errands on the weekend, so the dog did go with me everywhere.

One morning I went out to buy bagels. When I got out, the dog was sitting behind the wheel. I opened the door and said, “Move over, I’m driving. The last time you drove, it wasn’t pretty.” The woman getting into the car next to me lost it.

Was he named after the cognac?

“Scoopy Poo” services can’t help with that.

you’ve really got to hide those keys better!!!

I can’t stress this enough: Dogs should not be allowed to drive…

This one stinks too - better get him a self driving car and toilet.

Once in early “Close to Home,” someone had driven through a house wall and smilingly said, “You know, they say 80% of all accidents happen at home.”

LMAO!

When I was little, an intoxicated teen lost control of his vehicle going past our house one night, took out the mailbox and landed in our flower bed just feet from the front door. As penance, my father made him help replace the mailbox and repair and replant the flower bed. It was a different day and age.

Bad Remmy! Actually that’s a great name for a dog.