Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for April 20, 2020

Tough titty said the kitty when the milk went dry.

Who said they were listening?

Sick of hauling your love around

Want to run my train alone

But the engine tracks straight through your heart

And weighs me like a stone

I resent the aspersion cast upon my fundament.

You talkin’ to me? You talkin TO ME …?

Yes. Yes i am.

A neighbour neighbor asked me recently, ‘Are you even listening to me?’, which seems like a really awkward way to start a conversation..

Well! Aren’t we the Little Miss Stuck-up today!

Fear not, Bland Doltish Guy; we’ll save you from that lying wench!

…I’m sorry, what?…

…I’m a better lair when lameasses are listening…

…alas, no one ever listens…

…another lameass off coloured remark…

…breaking the fourth wall a little bit are we?…

… not listening…

…reading…

…now, that’s a Doozie…

… everything thing Spock says is a lie…

…Spock, ‘Wait…

… how does this work, again?’…

And that’s the problem. You’ll never be a great liar until you can lie in front of a crowd. Carry on. We’re here to help and we promise to give constructive feedback.

Send in John Q Public.

She’s so busy trumping around like a tramp..

Working the bar for free drinks..

If you want to drop my hundredwear ….I am up for a date…

Hey Baby…

There’s a fire behind my barn door..

Will you let the horse out…

Is a “lameass” audience anything like a “Lamaze” audience?

Chick please waitress..

Touch of fingertips

Throws smoke screen, clouding mind. No

Passersby to see.

We here at FA are PROUD of our lameassedness. We are also lame-brained. So, “READ MY PALM”, if you’re feeling lucky today.

(This may be my lamest FA post of all time. I dare anybody to put up something lamer that that. )

I heard they made a movie about constipation but it never came out.

New T-shirt: Lameass and Prude …!

I may be Lame, but I like to think I’m no lameass!