The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 13, 2020

He puts his pants on like everyone else – no legs at a time.

He doesn’t use suspenders – he uses a serpentine belt.

I’ll bet his wife looks good in a sheath!

Weird. I just read a news story; A lady found a sizable Python coiled in her top-loading washing machine. Think it might have snuck in thru a vent. No harm done.

It’s not because his wife wears the pants in the family, it’s just that all of his pants are filthy.

jerry’s being an asp again…

“Pant” – I guess when ever she goes clothes shopping it’s like a two for one sale.

C’mon Jerry, I guess we have to slither away without him this time!

No skin off my…

He’s in love. Every time he sees his wife, his heart just molts.

His wife has a peel.

I had a pet black rat snake at one time named Mr. No Shoulders. My brother’s wife made a shirt for him with the sleeves folded and pinned up as a gag gift.

I saw a lisping snake that would say, “Hith…Hith…”

He’s actually had a hard day as a plumber’s snake. The laundry is just an excuse.

…and where is this “pant” you speak of? Hissing in their pits is what they do.

I’m curious; who does wear the pants in that family, Jerry? Or any snake family for that matter?

’You’re always rattling on, Jerry.’

This’ll separate the men from the boas.

And who wears the py-thong?

Just wondering. How did he open the door among other things? Loading the washing machine must take a real effort.

Makes me so mad, I could just spit.

Oh, I really don’t want to spoil the fun. I was curious about the phrase “pair of pants” and asked a fellow who was in the trade. He explained that a “pant” was one half of a pant’s leg, either the front or the back half. So “pants” referred to one complete leg. Since no one wants to walk around half nekkid, you bring in another leg’s worth of pants and you have a pair of pants. (Tale totally not confirmed, it’s just what i was told)

SSSSup? going to Hisssstory class later?

At least he didn’t use ‘I gotta wash my hair’ excuse.

Now Jerry looks rattled.

I guess a snake wears a pant only on formal occasions, and they had the bad luck of coming on a rare laundry day.

Wait! Was this comic edited today? I coulda sworn it said “PANTS” (plural) this morning. Now it says “PANT” (singular). And there appears to be a blank space where the “S” may have been “whited out”.