Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith for September 30, 2020

I bet that won’t work.

Much as winning big is slim to nil for most, there is absolutely no way to win without a ticket.

I think the main thing lottery tickets sell is a dream.

It gives people the fantasy for a week or two that things may get unimaginably better, which is probably worth the $2 or $5 or whatever they cost.

If you play responsibly, the price of the ticket is insignificant. If you win a jackpot, it changes your life in a very significant way. And for a lot of people, there’s no other way they’re ever going to be millionaires. That’s the piece of the puzzle mathematicians like to ignore.

I put my money in meteorite insurance – better odds of winning.

For years, I avoided the lottery

Because I would probably lose.

I then learned a much better reason:

The jackpot is mostly bad news.

I might enjoy wealth for a while

But not know the way to invest

A windfall beyond what I’m used to;

My choices might not be the best.

Most winners spend more than they ought to

And run out of dough in two years.

Perhaps it was fun while it lasted,

But often it all ends in tears.

And even the ones who save wisely

Or donate to laudable drives

Face greedy relations and strangers,

Who might end up taking their lives.

Oh, sometimes they find satisfaction;

Guess that’s where the real gamble lies.

I’d rather win nothing for nothing

Than take a big chance on the prize.

Warning: The Lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.