Pickles by Brian Crane for July 20, 2009

Come on, ease up Earl. Life is short enough. Don’t annoy the cook.

You da man, Earl !

Earl is about to get peppered.

I’d be pouring the salt over his head.

Earl, the grouch. He must’ve had a bad day.

It is very pleasant? Now he sounds like he’s back in merry olde England.

He spent the whole day with Opal. Maybe he needs to get the recipe for that turkey loaf that the Wiz’s wife makes. He’ll have incentive to get away then.

She should have passed him the vinegar – the sourpuss!

This time Earl is the grump. Opal attitude is rubbing off on him!

Earl Crankypants.

Opal needs to go on a long vacation and let good ole Earl fix his own meals and do his own laundry for awhile!

Instead of salt, I believe Earl is about to be assaulted.

Ahhhhhhhhhh-chooooooooo! I rather not use the pepper so I prefer to have salt to dash over my meal.

Salt? I’d rather take some sugar and drown my food in it!

Anyway, who’s healthy these days?

I ALSO am retired, and my wife ALSO asks me the durndest questions, at the d@ngdest times!

This sort of thing MUST be covered in the 12-volume ”How to Annoy & Aggravate a Man” Instruction Man-ual, which ALL newly-married women receive, from ”Hen-Peccer” - the Maddenin’ Man-ual Distributin’ Exasperation Fairy, whose one Fairly-Infuriatin’ Fairy Mission is to insane-uate every male spouse on the planet, so as to send ‘em all to an early grave - a-mutterin’ great obscenities (”What’d you just say?!?!”) all th’ way!!!

Well, put Earl, but if you like salt, your days of retirement might be numbered.

Likely too late to save Earl from hyertension. Pour on the salt. Speed his departue if he’s so miserable!