The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 27, 2021

She found him visually ap-pealing.

Goodbye, Mister Chips.

I would be fried too if some half baked (ida)ho was trying to mash with my spouse.

“Hey! You’re always telling me to keep my eyes peeled for pedestrians!”

Ya think she’s snubbed out all his other eyes?

She’s definitely no sweet potato

when he saw her he was all eyes…

Sex a-peel!

She was just a chippy looking for a dip to take advantage of, but he got bagged by his sweet tater.

He’s right. It’s the only part of a baked potato that I eat. I carefully peel the skin off and leave the naked tater.

Please, Mrs. Tater…

Don’t make a mountain out of a hill of potatoes.

He doesn’t really have wandering eyes.

 

He isn’t dead, so sure, he may notice de vine looks…

even some of those fresh You tubers…

but his roots are firmly planted with you and the Tater Tots®.

Hope you won’t dig up trouble.

He wanted to see the junk in her trunk.

At least he’s not a masher.

Well… this went pear shaped quickly.

If he’s a Potato Peeler does that also make him a Potato Masher too hmm?

He has so many eyes that he could still keep two eyes on the road and be a safe driver.

She was potato skins with everything.

The she stared at him, tot lipped.

♪ Potato skins got baked potato appeal, ‘cause they’re made with potatoes and skins that are real! ♫

Julienne?

Mrs Potato!!!! Are you suggesting you want your husband to peel your skin off?!!!! You SICKO!!!!

That is like a human wanting to be skinned.

Now now. let’s not get ruffled.

Actually, the idea that the skins are the best part is a cooking myth. An ounce of skins have more nutrients than an ounce of the flesh. But not by much. You’d have to eat an amount of skins almost equal to the whole potato to beat it out.

The root of their problem isn’t his wandering eyes. He got mashed one night and things have been au gratin since then. A little suspicion causes a tiff, a latkes ’s a divorce.

Yep, the insides are bad for diabetics.