Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for April 01, 2021

Happy April Fool’s Day All! Appropo of really nothing at all, I present the following:

An Army Major has just received a promotion to Colonel, and has just entered his brand-new office with new furniture and fixtures. He sits behind his desk, and just as he starts to settle in, there’s a knock at his door. “Come in,” he says, but, as the enlisted man enters his office, the Colonel, filled with his own sense of self-importance, picks up the telephone on his desk and begins speaking into it. “Yes, Mister President. Yes, that’s my advice to you and the First Lady; you’d be wise to heed it!” He hangs up the phone, then addresses the Staff Sergeant who is standing at the doorway holding a bag of tools. “Well, what do you want? Can’t you see I’m a busy man?”

The Sergeant says, “Yes, Sir, I see that. I’ve just come in to install your telephone, Sir.”

He should use that guitar to play this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaYY58enl5M&ab_channel=KayCarr

I’m not sure I’d want to make a musical instrument utilizing a deceased relative’s skeletal remains.

Pretty funny about the guitar – Very Humerus

Driving a bus on a flag does not seem very patriotic.

It would be funny if Prince Midnight only played mellow folk music on that thing.

Funny we need to stick flags everywhere. On football uniforms, on churches, on police uniforms. Does that prove how patriotic we are? Does “in God We Trust” prove to God that we are religious?

And Unca Donald played Me and Julio DOWN by the schoolyard.

Take care, may tulip farmer Yodleoo Ladee Hoojord be with you, and gesundheit.

I saw that air force on the Flintstones.

Makes me wonder, what are they hiding behind the flag…?

Alas, Prince Midnight’s critics say his act has no body or soul.

Was “Dem Bones” the 1st song played on that guitar?!?

Is the bottom right (guitar) an April Fool’s joke? If not, wouldn’t that be illegal?

Why are the other stripes not wide enough for a bus?

(kidding)

Considering the number of buses they have driving up the side of the Kennedy Space Center’s Vehicle Assembly Building, the width of those stripes is highly relevant.

Not quite right regarding a bus being able to drive on one of the stripes of the KSC VAB: at 110 feet in width, each stripe would be 8.46 feet in width. A bus is 8’6" in width, less its mirrors.

I like that they had to say that the cryodrakon is extinct

And until he switched to classical music every time he played he got a citation for abusing a corpse…

Are these “facts” true or are they an April Fool prank?