Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs for June 02, 2021

Oh dear! It would seem that our haughty black widow has broken a nail, or gotten some of that cesspool swill under her claws. Time for the sex-starved Bolgani to show up, grab June and drag her off into the jungle for some fun and games. So wrap this up, slap on the cuffs and end this terrible tale lifted from Hemingway’s “The Macomber Affair”! Jolly bad show eh, old chaps?

An almost perfect crime, Tarzan commented, except for one minor flaw: It’s the most absurd cock and bull story I ever heard.

And they’d have gotten away with it too, if not for meddling Tarzan!

That plan ranks right up there with Tarzan’s “Dig a Pit” plan. And I do mean rank.

Filler strip. After all that, the writer needed to catch his breath.

Ah, come on, stake her to the ant hill and be done with her.

If they plan to hand her over to the authorities, they’ll have a hard time proving all that. Of course, they could just abandon her in the jungle and be done with it.

Her husband will probably take her back and I won’t like it.

Apeman gettin’ a bit wordy there.

Where’s the action? They should be running away from something, at least.

Her scheme would’ve work if it haven’t been for that meddling ape-man and his… ok, just him.

WAITAMINUTEHERE! We’re missing an adverb. “An almost perfect crime, commented Tarzan…” Smugly? Gleefully? Cordially?, lustfully (maybe having some ideas about how to punish June…)?

Except the witch doctor had an automatic transmission; no clutch. That was the fatal flaw in her story.