FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for June 26, 2021

from business cards, to business name, to office location, to costumes… the boys sure are prepared to take the girls’ case

Sam Spade and Sherlock Holmes.

Now I suppose they will hound some Baskervilles!

Jason, you’ve ruined that Calabash with bubble solution. (Just for trivia’s sake… In the books, Sherlock Holmes mostly smoked a clay pipe. The Calabash was an affectation of one of the early stage actors playing him.)

Of all the detective agencies in all of the towns, she had to pick mine.

She knocked on my door and when it opened my peepers took a gander at her form. It resembled a masonry structure out back of the house where a Joe goes to answer the call of nature.

I knew this dame was trouble the moment I laid eyes on her. I asked her, “OK doll, what’s your beef?”

She started with the waterworks. I found a relatively clean glass, reached into the lower right hand drawer for a bottle of hooch. I poured her a glass. She declined.

There was no sense in letting good booze go to waste, so I took a belt.

She sat there dabbing her baby blues with her handkerchief.

Finally, she calmed down enough to spill the beans.

“It’s my book,” she lamented, “Someone has gone done and stole it.”

“Any idea who the perp is?’

“I think it was some guy named Jason.”

“Why would some mug named Jason want to steal your book?”

She filled me in on the details. Too many details. I had to stop the chatterbox express before it became a runaway train. I took the case.

I watched her caboose as she sashayed out of my office. I decided to start at the waterfront, that’s where most Palookas named Jason hang out.

=o=

I can’t imagine Jason or the girls talking this way, but I always wanted to write in this genre.

I guess they’re still in ‘elementary’ school.

Use your tec (tech?) skills to answer your own question, boys.

Success! They finally found a way to get the girls to leave them alone.

(ʘ﹏ʖ ʘ) (Θ﹏ʖ Θ)

Already they’re the worst detectives ever if they can’t find their clients.

dragnet …. just the facts mam

“After lunch” is different for different people.

The game is a foot.

call Tracer Bullet