Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 17, 2021

Greetings, fellow Ripsters! Please note I have full use of my keyboard tonight through the simple expedient of moving it directly under my hand on a rolling table. (I’m still using my left hand mostly for the shift key, but it’s SO much better than when it was paralyzed – not merely deadened — by the nerve block. Pain I can deal with.) And my heartfelt THANKS! to jokester emeritus Steve Silver for both his accolades AND for keeping up the tradition of the O.F.W.T.J. Society.

Anyhow, that’s enough preamble. I started on a theme, and on a theme I shall continue. Even if you’ve heard it before, you can’t stop me anyway, so here goes…

Two men are out hiking when one of them encounters a rattlesnake, which bites him on the foot. (Told you there was a theme…) His buddy makes sure he’s comfortable; then high-tails it to the doctor’s office to ask what he should do.

“You have to suck the poison out,” says the physician. So the guy goes back to his friend on the trail.

“What did the doctor say?” the friend asks.

“The doctor said you’re gonna die.”

what an interesting badger

We’ve got a bunch of sassy animals in this one. They go wherever they want, they trick everyone, they’re incorrigible.

We’ve gone from mice in the White House to rats in the Senate.

And now it’s more common for U.S. Presidents to care for rats in the White House.

Take care, may fiction writer and publisher William Randolph Hearstord be with you, and gesundheit.

The “El Chapo” of the badger world……

So, Badger gets caught at the munitions depot, eh?

That means that Toad escaped before the guards arrived!

If they’d had detonated their charges it’d given new scale to “Wind in the Willows!”

They’re sorta playing the old “shell game”.

Johnson fed the mice with what was left of Andrew Jackson’s cheese wheel.

The sequel to ‘Day of the Jackal’ ‘Night of the badger’, will be in theaters in time for Christmas.

The Easter bunny is fooled thinking it’s chocolate.

I don’t like the new artist’s style. It’s just very displeasing to my eyes.

That’s the nicest thing I ever learned about Andrew Johnson.

Forgot about him being impeached. Nancy Pelosi was around back then?

If it’s British, then it’s the Ministry of Defence.

…notice A. Johnson’s mice were al white? Not a coincidence, perhaps…

Damn commie badgers.

At least President Johnson was doing something kind of, sort of useful.