Diamond Lil by Brett Koth for August 23, 2021

The let him in an exclusive restaurant?

She said she wasn’t hungry, but this is what she ate . . .

Stop complaing, it was YOUR idea! Just be thankful she didn’t order the fillet-de-soul!

It was the wine that really filled the bill. She ordered the whole box!

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!

Yeah, that paisley cloth bifold one from the 60’s …!

She ordered Chateaubriand, took two bites and said she was full, then ordered dessert and another bottle of wine. None of that cheap stuff to go with this cherries jublee.

I gave you a brand new Ford and you said: “I want a Cadillac!”

I bought you a hundred dollar dinner and you said: “Thanks for the snack!”

I let you live in my penthouse. You said it was just a shack.

I gave you seven children.

And now you wanna to give ’em back!

“How Blue Can You Get?” by B.B. King

…and here he thought she was attracted to him for his looks.

I ate at that place yesterday. Five of us and the bill was $178 plus tip.