Ziggy by Tom Wilson & Tom II for September 22, 2021

This is what Publishers clearing house tells every one.

So close.

No cigar, apparently.

Never could believe the things you wrote to me,

Never could believe the way you are

Every day I curse the mailman that got through to me,

‘Cause baby, I believe that you’re a liar.

Everyone’s a winner, baby, that’s the “truth” (yes, the “truth”)

Reading things like that is such a thrill

Everyone’s a winner, baby, that’s a scam (yes, a scam)

Throw it all in the trash can (trash can)

Market testing determined that ‘Congratulations, you are a looser!’ didn’t work very well.

You can’t say that! “You Never give a sucker an even break.”

i actually purchased some really great things from PCH…

Just once I would like to see that on my entry form.

Recalls the “National Lampoon” cartoon with a hot dog opening a similar letter, “You may already be a weiner.”

…but we have been trying to get in touch with you about your car’s extended warranty.

It not “who are we kidding”, it’s who are we scamming.

Publishers clearing house won’t even consider you unless you purchase something