We laughed about grief the other night, so the following is probably safe:A man is lying in what he knows is his deathbed; he has only a few hours left of life. But while he’s contemplating his imminent demise, he smells a wonderful aroma from the kitchen: his wife is baking cookies! The aroma is so inviting and tempting that he reaches inside himself to find a strength he didn’t know he possessed, and manages to get out of bed. Somehow he makes his way to the kitchen, where he sees his favorite cookies on the cooling rack. Summoning even more strength, he reaches out to have one final treat before going to his eternal rest…
When WHACK! His wife slaps his hand away. She glares at him, saying, “Keep your hands off – those are for the wake!”
The X-Rays were moving in the direction of the telescope and as they approached the black hole, its enormous gravity bent the X-Rays around the hole, further evidence for Einstein’s theory of general relativity. Some of the X-Rays actually got sucked into the black hole, I think, but those far enough away from the event horizon were simply bent around it, I think.
The new minister at the local Baptist church is canvassing the neighborhood inviting folks to Sunday service, He approaches the first house and knocks on the door. An older gentleman opens the door and says “Wow it’s Conway Twitty!” “Ethel come here Conway Twitty is here!” The minister says "No,no I’m not Conway Twitty! “I have been told that I resemble him but, I’m the new minister at the Baptist church and I just wanted to invite you folks to Sunday service.” The couple thank him and agree to come on Sunday. He then goes to the next house and knocks and when the door opens, an elderly lady says “Oh lordy it’s Conway Twitty!” Again the minister corrects her and invites her to next Sunday’s service." She says she will be there and says “Are you sure you’re not Conway? I just love his songs!” He assures her that he, in fact, isn’t and goes on to the next house! This time ,when the door opens, a voluptious young woman, clad in only a very sheer nightie that’s open in the front says. in a very seductive tone “Well if it isn’t Conway Twitty!” He says “Hello Darlin.” I’m sayin “goodbye!” Jofers has left the building!
let me know when they print a 3D spine that can replace my herniated one and allow me to win a golf tournament so I can retire. THEN I WILL BELIEVE IT or not!!
eromlig over 3 years ago
We laughed about grief the other night, so the following is probably safe:A man is lying in what he knows is his deathbed; he has only a few hours left of life. But while he’s contemplating his imminent demise, he smells a wonderful aroma from the kitchen: his wife is baking cookies! The aroma is so inviting and tempting that he reaches inside himself to find a strength he didn’t know he possessed, and manages to get out of bed. Somehow he makes his way to the kitchen, where he sees his favorite cookies on the cooling rack. Summoning even more strength, he reaches out to have one final treat before going to his eternal rest…
When WHACK! His wife slaps his hand away. She glares at him, saying, “Keep your hands off – those are for the wake!”
Templo S.U.D. over 3 years ago
That is quite a powerful South American camera to see a small golf ball 24.14 km away.
in-dubio-pro-rainbow over 3 years ago
Sounds like quite an effort just to look for golf balls that are 15 miles away.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 3 years ago
I bet it can’t find golf balls in the rough, and that’s where they get lost.
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 3 years ago
It’s okay to drive or bicycle to the golf ball and pick it up and look at it; no telescope needed.
Take care, may prolific thread un-spooler and re-spooler Helen “Leave Me Be I”m a Busy Person" McTrumpord be with you, and gesundheit.
dv1093 over 3 years ago
That Chile camera thing – is that such a big deal? Google earth does pretty much the same thing – on my phone.
markhughw over 3 years ago
The X-Rays were moving in the direction of the telescope and as they approached the black hole, its enormous gravity bent the X-Rays around the hole, further evidence for Einstein’s theory of general relativity. Some of the X-Rays actually got sucked into the black hole, I think, but those far enough away from the event horizon were simply bent around it, I think.
oakie817 over 3 years ago
why are they taking pictures of golf balls?
joefearsnothing over 3 years ago
The new minister at the local Baptist church is canvassing the neighborhood inviting folks to Sunday service, He approaches the first house and knocks on the door. An older gentleman opens the door and says “Wow it’s Conway Twitty!” “Ethel come here Conway Twitty is here!” The minister says "No,no I’m not Conway Twitty! “I have been told that I resemble him but, I’m the new minister at the Baptist church and I just wanted to invite you folks to Sunday service.” The couple thank him and agree to come on Sunday. He then goes to the next house and knocks and when the door opens, an elderly lady says “Oh lordy it’s Conway Twitty!” Again the minister corrects her and invites her to next Sunday’s service." She says she will be there and says “Are you sure you’re not Conway? I just love his songs!” He assures her that he, in fact, isn’t and goes on to the next house! This time ,when the door opens, a voluptious young woman, clad in only a very sheer nightie that’s open in the front says. in a very seductive tone “Well if it isn’t Conway Twitty!” He says “Hello Darlin.” I’m sayin “goodbye!” Jofers has left the building!
paranormal over 3 years ago
Who wants to take a picture of a golf ball from 25 miles away???
Saddenedby Premium Member over 3 years ago
let me know when they print a 3D spine that can replace my herniated one and allow me to win a golf tournament so I can retire. THEN I WILL BELIEVE IT or not!!
David_the_CAD over 3 years ago
Great, robots that can win at video games, the Apocalypse is indeed upon us.
J. R. M. over 3 years ago
Now if they invent a robotic “hand” that could win at slot machines, I’d be interested.
spaced man spliff over 3 years ago
does the black hole also woof space-time?