Close to Home by John McPherson for December 27, 2021

Is Monique that bad of a cook?

I didn’t know my sister had changed her name to Monique ;-)

Stay calm lady….Relax….Stay ‘abreast’ of the situation.

the chains were on bob marley’s ghost, not the ghost of christmas past

I’ve got one of those in my garage refrigerator.

At least her goose isn’t cooked, yet.

That’s what happens when you use the Pet Sematary for composting.

In ‘not’ keeping with the situation, this ghost must be Clarence…(I know, Clarence was an angel) but neither have wings.

I get visited by that regularly, If taken to calling it HB or CI.

What a turkey!

dun..dun…dun….

It’s about your stuffing, Monique…..

OMG, it’s a poulty-geist.

So that’s what that smell was……

Not to be to judgy, but with that big ol’ chain, that turkey must have been sort of an azhole. I wonder if he was even good eating.

Come on Monique, you can do this, just remember your training!

First step: carefully stick your hand up in there and remove that bag of giblets.

Second step: place it on a rack in a shallow pan and set the oven to 325 degrees.

Third step: cook for 15 to 20 minutes per pound, and make sure it’s done this time, and it won’t be be roamin’ your basement.

Time to clean that basement. Cobwebs are a sure sign of “basement neglect”.

And the fruitcake of Christmas present

what’s he so upset about? we all loved him!

Quick – grab a meat thermometer and a baster in case it breaks loose!