FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for March 15, 2022

Danish prince also avenges his father’s death who was a victim of fratricide.

TL;DR.

“2B or not 2B.”

Alas, poor Yorick got cut!

A LOT of people die!

He was still working on the “ish”. “Is he a REAL Dane, half Dane, or just a wannabe Dane? You know, Dane-ISH!”

Peter takes his time. Each word must be studied and considered individually before moving to the next: Danish, okay, this story takes place in Denmark or is about breakfast pastries. What next? Prince. Royalty is involved. That’s a twist. Does Denmark still have princes? What could come next?

Shakespeare is spinning in his grave.

This kid is perfect for the NFL, no talent and no brains.

I thought Hamlet was about baby pigs.

I had a high school English teacher who was vocal about the fact that he made sure to use at least some details not pointed out in the CliffsNotes version of the book for the quiz. “…so if you want a good grade, you’ll read the real book.”

Tom Stoppard, who wrote “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead,” also condensed Shakespeare’s text into “The Fifteen Minute Hamlet.”* Every line is from the original, but it hits all the plot points at breakneck speed. The Soliloquy/Nunnery Scene reads as follows:

Hamlet: To be, or not to be. That is the question.

Ophelia: (enters) My Lord!

Hamlet: Get thee to a nunnery! (Hamlet and Ophelia exit)

Polonius: Love? His affections do not that way tend. There’s something in his soul o’er which his melancholy sits on brood. He shall with speed to England.

*Actually, all five acts only take twelve minutes; the “Encore” is a further distillation down to three minutes.

Students think their teacher won’t know they’re using Cliffs Notes…

OK, I’ll admit this: I’m over 60 years old, and I still find the Cliffs Notes and/or Spark Notes very helpful to me when I read a book with the accompanying notes. It helps me remember characters and plot lines as I read through the book. I usually read the chapter in the Notes first, then I read the actual book chapter. Good recent example: A Tree Grows In Brooklyn.

“Lion King”, but with people and without shitty music.

You’re cramming and worried about spoilers?

I had a couple of professors in college who would assign reading and essays, on the texts. They were well familiar with Cliff Notes and Spark Notes. They made sure to ask questions about material NOT contained in either. Not an easy A for many students.

Do they have books about the Scottish Play?

As the late E. B. White put it, “Irtnog.”