Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for May 19, 2022

Aw, Lawid! It’sah miwacle!!

Looks like one of them Texas mega-churches!!!

All the eggs are upside down.

That’s nasty stuff.

Looks like they’re buying it.

It needs a little mustard and pickle relish.

Also makes great deviled eggs.

Whipped clean!

Love whipped salad dressing, but I don’t buy Miracle Whip…to dang expensive.

To any who don’t get it: Mayonnaise is made from eggs and oil.

In his resurrection, he has received a new body.

He has come back in a new form. It truly is a miracle. Amen.

(I want to say, “Whip it – whip it good.”, but I won’t.)

Reincarnated, actually….

At least he didn’t go to Helmans.

Um…Mark, there are no eggs in Miracle Whip.

I’m pretty sure there is no egg in Miracle Whip.

What a smear campaign.

And he was then spread across the world, for the sandwiches and sauces everywhere that would only believe. Or not.

Miracle Whip is a cost-reduced, long shelf-life goop that tastes nothing like real mayonnaise. It’s like buying “cheeze” with a “z.”

I cannot stand Miracle Whip.

The Mayo Clinic will fix the Humpster.

In the nursery rhyme, Humpty fell off the wall. But technically, he never died.

Yuck. A miracle would be coming back as Duke’s Mayonnaise.

I don’t think salad dressing contains eggs …

According to the Nicene Creed, before the resurrection, he descended into Hellmann’s and was tempted by a can of deviled ham.