Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for July 10, 2022

If by some crazy fluke, a human gave birth to something that looked like a unicorn, does it still count as a human?

Well we’ll try to find a mad scientist and see if they can help with that, Marigold.

Marigold’s ideal human can’t be more simple than that.

An ideal unicorn cannot be a human because…. it’s a unicorn. F grade for Marigold.

Phoebe gets a B+. I would have given a higher grade had she left the “turbo butt” option off the list (I’d put a subwoofer there instead). ;-)

To be fair, even the ideal “ideal” looks like an unicorn. Because, well…. UNICORN!

The Ideal Unicorn looks like an electronic robot with all the accessories!

Phoebe’s handwriting is better than mine and that makes me self-conscious.

How racist. I think…

Phoebe has captured the quintessence of the art period known as ‘Strong Bad’. Marigold, on the other hand, has discovered furries.

I won’t ask how the “turbo butt” is supposed to work.

Unicorns with “frickin’ laser beams….”

Laser Ray Eyes are always the coolest!

“Your point being?”

Don’t forget the Wi-Fi horn, Pheobe.

Turbo-butt, huh? Talk about high-powered artillery!

LASER —“light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation”

(I found this out by playing Kirby for Gameboy Advance…)

But I believe that “Lazer” is the more correct spelling.

Well. duh. We DO all want to be unicorns, don’t we?