The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 05, 2023

“Hey doc, I have a biting pain in my side.”

He should have ran as fast as he could.

Sorry Ginger!

Have you ever seen the inside of my lunchbox???

And that doctors visit is going to cost him an arm and a leg.

(I know. I’m going after the easy jokes.)

Is this a repeat diagnosis?

I see what you mean about a tenderness in your side.

“Run, run as fast as you can, Gingerbread Man”!

“I should never have said: ‘Bite Me, Doc!’”

You could call that a Bite-opsy

A funeral director was arrested for selling body parts. Frankenstein revisited?

“You monster!”

I don’t think I can eat my lunch now.

Not my gumdrop buttons

His blopsy?

The insurance won’t cover the procedure due to a gap in coverage.

(((((( GASP‼️)))))))

There he is! The dreaded MUFFIN MAN‼️

I believe we’ll have to do further testing!

Wait till you get to the buttons of Red Hots.

It went well with a nice chianti.

But I’m thinking you should get a second opinion – I can do that right here.

Biteopsy

I think your limbs need to be amputated immediately.

“You’re a monster.” – from THE best movie-turned religious cult ever made!

He has that flesh eating disease, only this variant isn’t caused by microbes.

You SAY I can’t catch you “if you run as fast as you can”, but an Out of Network Office Visit is going to cost you an arm & a leg.

“We’re going to need another sample for further testing.”

I’d recommend a good soaking in a milk bath, and come back and see me.

The doctor had a hankering for “take out”.

I’m afraid to say, sir, but you’ve got a terminal case of crumbles. Nurse, send in the glass of milk please! ;-p