Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 21, 2023

Vote for Pedro!

My father is from Wyoming. Which parts therein have the only two escalators I wonder.

One word to describe Napoleon Dynamite movie: classic.

Wyoming must have little in the way of shopping malls, maybe just a few one-story plazas. Or maybe they depend on the General Store of the Old West.

Another record: Wyoming has one Senator for each of its escalator pairs.

I was checking on stevesilver48’s profile and notice he hasn’t posted anything for 20 days, but I noticed I hadn’t ever read his last joke and it really tickled my funny bone.. I hope he doesn’t mind me re-posting it here.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ stevesilver48 20 days ago

Hey now and Happy New Year, Rippers! So I’m at Walmart picking up a bag of dog food. Waiting in the long line the lady behind me strikes up a conversation. She asks if I have a dog, and I think, why else would I be carrying this big bag of dog food? But I said, “No, I’m starting the dog food diet again even though I ended up in the hospital last time.” She looked horrified. I continued, “But I had lost 50lbs before I woke up in the hospital with IV’s and feeding tube and a broken arm and pelvis and a concussion.” “Oh Dear!” She said. I told her that it was the perfect diet, that you fill your pockets with the nuggets and when you feel hungry you just pop a couple and eat them. And since the dog food is nutritionally complete it works great, and I really want to try it again. Now everyone in line is listening to me and our discussion. She asked, “Well, was it the dog food that put you in the hospital?” “Oh, no,” I answered, “I stepped off the curb to sniff a poodle and a truck hit me.” I thought the guy behind her was gonna have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Silver Out!

Still under suspension with no idea why!

Chihal – – – https://www.gocomics.com/profile/2018972

stevesilver48 – – – https://www.gocomics.com/profile/3004280

Tuco – – – https://www.gocomics.com/profile/3182121

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Send enquiries to: moderator@gocomics.com

If Silver hasn’t posted in 20 days maybe he can’t because of this ban.

Apparently both of the sets of escalators are in Casper, Wyoming in two different banks.

And for now, from the EST zone:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77ip2nQU-j8

The artist, Castano (?), has upped his game.

That actually looks like Napoleon Dynamite.

There are also only two chess sets in Wyoming. And they’re shot at in the McCallum manure field off highway 25 on Friday and Saturday nights once the locals have gotten liquored up at Barney’s Beer and Beanery across from Gus’s Skull and Crossbones Harley Cafe.

Take care, may happy but serious foot-bone counter Todd “Men’s Feet Aren’t Interesting So Don’t Even Bother Taking Off Your Shoes” Fetishord be with you, and gesundheit.

AMEN BROTHER ! (Vietnam era 1966-1970)

I’m one of the 64% with “normal” feet and now I feel left out.

(anything original in these comments is purely coincidental)

`

My first time on an escalator…

…was quite uplifting, the second time though was a letdown

~

What do you say when a lousy comedian performs on an escalator?

These jokes are bad on so many levels

~

Saw a janitor wiping the handrail on an ascending escalator

He was cleaning up

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Have you ever heard the technical term for a broken escalator?

Stairs

~

I’ve developed an irrational fear of escalators.

I always find myself taking steps to avoid them.

~

A criminal talked down to me on an escalator today.

He was a condescending con descending.

~

I get really emotional whenever I see escalators…

Last time I was on one, I found it moving.

~

I prefer escalators but my wife prefers elevators…

I think it’s because we were raised differently

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I can see a woman sneezing on the escalator.

I think she’s coming down with something.

~

You just had to know the blonde ones would be held for the finale

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Three blondes were on an escalator at the shopping mall when the power suddenly went out.

They were stranded for two hours.

~

How do you keep a blonde busy for years?

Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.

I’ve never watched that Napoleon Dynamite movie…or wanted to.

When you say two sets, do you mean a set is both an up and a down escalator, or do you mean, one set goes up and the other down? In the latter case I hope they both are in the same building.

Wyoming has lots of room and, with that miserably cold climate, very low population density.

from Tuco

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44 minutes ago on Ripley’s Believe It or Not

Good mornin errybody!!!

Boudreaux was on a deserted island for over 10 years, sees a speck on the horizon drifting his way.What emerged from the surf was wet-suited black clad figure. After taking some of the scuba off, there stood a gorgeous blond! The blond strides up to the stunned Boudreaux and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”

“Ten years,” replied the amazed Boudreaux . She unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit, and pulled pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. “Wow,” says Boudreaux , " I’d forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of whiskey” asked the blonde.

Gobsmacked, Boudreaux replied, “Ten years.” The blonde reaches over to her right sleeve unzips a pocket and hands him a flask. He has a long drink. “Magic, truly fantastic!!!” says Boudreaux.

At this point the gorgeous blond started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. Smiling she looks at the trembling man and asks: “Now, how long has it been since you played around???”

With tears in his eyes, Boudreaux fell to his knees and sobbed; “NO! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there too!!!”

from Tuco

=

36 minutes ago on Ripley’s Believe It or Not

Everyone asked a 100-year-old Bou and his 98-year-old wife Marie for their health secrets.

The Bou said"I’ll tell you my secret. I’ve been married for 75 years. I promised my wife when we got married that when we quarrel, the loser has to walk for 5 miles. So I’ve been walking 5 miles every day for the past 75 years! Everyone applauded and asked again.

“But how come your wife Marie is very healthy as well?”Bou answered.“That is another secret. For 75 years every single day she has been following me to make sure I really walk the full 5miles!”

Amen to that.

We got stuff going on about feet, right?

`

One beautiful day in Heaven, Jesus and Moses were fishing in a lake. After a while of silence, Jesus asked Moses, “Hey Moses, can you still do it? You know… ‘Your thing’?” Moses then answered, “I don’t know, let me see if I still got it!”

He then stood up and drew his arms forwards, and then separates them. As soon as he did it, the lake’s water divided into two and the boat fell to the dry bottom of the lake. Moses happily then said, “Ah ha! I can still do it!!” Then after he closed his arms and the lake came back to normal, with the boat rising on top of it, he then asked Jesus, “So, how about you? Can you still do it, ‘your thing’?” Jesus then answered, “Only one way to find out!”

Jesus then stood up and jumped out of the boat, and started walking on the lake. But after a few miles of walking, he then fell into the water and started drowning. Moses seeing this, rushed to save Jesus and get him out of the water. When Jesus was finally saved, Moses, looking confused, then asked him, “Hey, what happened? How did you fall into the water??”

Jesus, still breathing faintly, then answered him, “Ha— Ha— I just remembered— That I still got holes in my feet— From that day—”

Rhode Island, the smallest U.S. state, has twice the pop. of Wyoming.

TWO OUTSTANDING comments so far today! — must reads!

See brewingbiker in replies to Featured Comment and NoNameOntheBullet’s reply to comixbomix.

Not an escalator comment, but elevator. I once stayed at a hotel in downtown San Diego. There was a plaque inside the one elevator that said it was the first elevator in California and that people used to come from miles around to see how fast it went…it was the SLOWWWWest elevator I’ve ever been on! (Tiny, too)

Totally off topic, it is true though.

The wife and I grow two gardens a year.

It was getting that time of year when we were getting turnips, mustards, and collards cut.

The wife started canning what greens she wanted to put up plus was going to can some potatoes while she was at it.

(At least that’s what she had said)

About a week later she wanted me to make my homemade soup.

I got all the veggies I needed plus some ground meat.

I decided that I wanted to put some canned tators in the soup. (So I did)

We sat down with our bowls of soup and dug in.

I took a bite of soup and noticed it had a slightly different taste then usual. (No big deal)

I took a bite of tator and it didn’t taste right at all.

I said to the wife, “Babe, I believe them tators has turned.”

When she finally stopped laughing she told me that she decided not to can any potatoes, she canned some turnips instead.

I want make that mistake again.

I’m really tired of people who think that Stalin was a Fascist. That equate Liberalism with Communism. Fascism and Nazism are autocratic, supreme leader based dictatorships, where as communism is a dictatorship of the proletariat. Both are dictatorships, with different economic programs. Liberalism is a total rejection of the dictator. It is small “d” democratic.As for censorship, it only applies to governmental restrictions on speech or print. An one else, any private business, any religion, can restrict you voice on their property, print, or web site. That is their right. If you don’t like it, tough. They have freedoms too.