Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for October 22, 2023

That boy’s tetched in the haid!

cue the dark ambient music with discordant overtones which, although broadly tonal, is inflected with chromatic and polytonal passages representing the archetypal example of a florid, melodramatic style without being interpreted as an overly heavy-handed metaphor within the context of the thematic material a bit on the frenetic and frantic side with interesting rhythmic devices which seem to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor

At this point in his career, it’s rare that anything good comes of seeing Dutch.

The man can draw a bikini. Rip should be able to delay his trip for an hour or so.

Or, Rip, you could just wake up, turn around, and open your eyes!

Rip that search can wait. I mean, look at Cobra in that itsy bitsy teenie weenie bikini. (NOT the Yellow Polka Dot one from Brian Hyland’s song.) Doesn’t that sight stir something in you?It sure does for us Hetero males.

Maybe start next week. Recharge here first. If I were Rip’s ol’ man, I’d give him Hëll for leaving that bit o’ paradise early! I ain’t in a rush.

It just occurred to me…it would be fun to watch Rip and Dick Tracy shave each other with their chins.

KA-FATHER!

Cobra looks lovely in a bikini. Heck, Cobra looks lovely even when she’s fully clothed.

What the heck is that guy talking about? A papoose is an infant who doesn’t have a conversation with anyone, much less a chief.

By the way, the “find my father” thing only has a positive outcome about 1 time out of 100. A popular “find lost relative” show was cancelled after they discovered people are more interested in locating matching organ donors than catching up for lost time.

Daddy issues.

Sequel in progress.

So, what’ll it be next Sunday?

On his way to star in Letterkenny.