Rubes by Leigh Rubin for June 28, 2023

Could be a saw point.

The place must get a lot of long-nosed wooden patrons.

A wood chipper would be faster!!

Maybe if you promise not to order anything alcoholic, your nose will shrink; and he’ll know you’re telling the truth and let you in.

I thought the martini was being held by the invisible man, and was eagerly awaiting the joke that that combo (with Pinocchio) would provide.

Alas, I was in error.

ol’ Pinoc always did have craving for wood alcohol

Sir, methinks you have told that story about your age before.

woodn’t you know, i got caught

You just need to take a core sample

Well, if they won’t let him in, he can always make his own wood grain alcohol.

" No problem. I was going to have rhinoplasty done in a few days anyway. "

He’s hoping to meet a lady in there and have a wood-night stand.

I think he wood mind.

He wants birch beer.

He could use a nose job.

The old TikToc- just aske there age and that is good enough.

No worries, Pin…it’ll grow back next lie.