Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten; Dan Weingarten & David Clark for July 23, 2023

オイ・ヴェイ

From a good knowledge of German plus a little Googling:

Tsi = introduction to a yes/no question, probably from Polish (had to look this one up).

hot ir = G. habt ihr = 2nd person plural used as a Yiddish polite address, word order reversed for a question = “have you / do you have”.

a bisl = G. regional ein Bissl = “a little bit”.

extre = almost certainly a borrowing of “extra”, but no telling via what language.

shkl = obviously Hebrew “shekel”, here meaning “money”.

So, “Do you have a little extra money?”

Answer: G. Ja, mein Bruder = “Yes, my brother.”

He’s not a beggar, he’s a schnorrer.

Barney, you schlemiel… ☺

Ish kabibble!!

Old story:

A nun is preparing to go to sleep, when a bat flies into her open window.

The bat changes into a vampire, and goes right for the nun.

Too terrified to scream, she picks up her crucifix and holds it between her and the vampire.

And the vampire says “Es gornisht helfin”.

Alas, Google Translate doesn’t recognize any of that question.

Truth. I was in an outdoor tavern in Munich with several other people. A man came over and asked for spare change (in English). Then he went to another table and asked for spare change. When someone said he didn’t understand, the man noticed they were speaking Italian and asked again in what sounded like perfect Italian. I’m sure he could hit up anyone there.

Ah, the language of the old country.