Texts From Mittens by Angie Bailey for December 11, 2023

Can I afford you? How many bendy straws an hour do you charge?

Ponytail holders are great toys as well. Monroe likes to fish them out of the drawer.

Three-legged Stanley is building a junk store empire.

Sorry you had to go through that, Mittens. Be sure to get plenty of rest.

I hope you cleaned up the bathtub for your mom, Mittens.

Lucky you Mittens, scoring those bendy straws

I’m wondering how Stanley came to have all this merchandise for his pop-up junk store in your bathroom. Mama, you’d better check that you still have all of your shampoo bottle tops, toilet paper, soft towels, etc.

I’m trying to imagine a three-legged cat reclining in a bathtub with junk “popped up” all around him as Mittens valiantly (and fancily) blocks the door against strange cats by inflating his fur to four times normal size. This impasse persists only until Stanley catches his attention by zinging him behind the ear with a rolled up pill of toilet paper “blowgunned” from a bendy straw. At which point the scenario collapses into a tangle of fur, paws and bargains.

Got it! Ouch! I think I sprained my imagination.