Diamond Lil by Brett Koth for March 24, 2024

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    Yakety Sax  11 months ago

    From Not Always Right: The Glass Is Half Empty Or Half Full

    We are a bunch of contractors working for a small machine shop. A walk-in customer has come in asking for a custom part. We run through the details, and he agrees on a cost.

    Customer: “What if I needed the part today?”

    Coworker: “There’s a rush fee of [total].”

    Customer: “That’s fine; just hurry.”

    Coworker: “So, that’s [total].”

    Customer: “I’ll run to the bank to get the cash. Please just get started as it’s urgent.”

    This should be the first red flag, but some customers do pay with cash, so we get started. He comes back and we have the part ready for him, but when he hands over the cash to my coworker…

    Coworker: “This is only half the amount.”

    Customer: “Yeah, things are tight right now. Just don’t be a d**k about it and I’ll get the rest to you.”

    Coworker: “We can’t give you the part unless you pay in full up-front.”

    Customer: “My dad gets stuff from you guys and pays you back all the time.”

    Coworker: “It’s likely he’s an established client with an earned amount of credit. You’re a walk-in customer we don’t know.”

    Customer: “Well, we need to do something because I need the part now. I’ll pay you the rest in a month or so.”

    Coworker: “Fair enough.

    And with that, my coworker steps behind the counter, cuts his part in half on one of the industrial saws, and gives him one of the halves!

    Coworker: “We’ll give you the other half in a month or so.”

    Cost to us: an hour or so of labor and a couple of dollars of material. The look on the client’s face? Priceless.

    NOT my story, but I wish I had been there!

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    Knightman Premium Member 11 months ago

    He could of had an eyeful!!!

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    timinwsac Premium Member 11 months ago

    Half full, half empty? Maybe the glass is just to big.

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    Doug K  11 months ago

    He could have said that it was “Fu.” …………… [“Fu” is half “Full”.]

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    Zebrastripes  11 months ago

    Well, that should have “cleared” up any doubts!

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    ChessPirate  11 months ago

    Optimistic Glass Pickup Lines #47:

    “Hi, I’m Rose-Colored and you look great!”

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    Howard'sMyHero  11 months ago

    Al’s running on half empty …!

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    dbrucepm  11 months ago

    The optimist says the cup if half full.

    The pessimist says it is half empty.

    The Christian says my cup runneth over.

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