Hope to at least get a BIG SMILE when you read this!
A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.” he says.
He leaves the room and checks the suspect’s file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy…” the third guy replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear”
“We have your prize. What’s your name?” “Sirish Subash.” “Gesundheit. I hope you feel better, what a sneeze! Anyway, give us your name so we can issue your prize.” ""Sirish Subash." “Whew! Another great one.. but we must move forward.. what’s your name please.” ""Sirish Subash." “God bless you. Your name, we haven’t much more time.” ""Sirish Subash." “I’m outa here… I can’t get sick or I’ll have to retire, I’m old.”
C’mon! How the duck does someone establish dolphin smiles and their meaning!? Bottle nosed dolphins have a naturally occurring smile to their beak due to their skull structure! Some species of dolphin (yes, there are more than one) display no such “smile”. Applying human characteristics to non-human species is a childish practice known as anthropomorphism! As such, not sustainable as proof!
Drives me crazy when people refer to their pets as “their children” or “my fur babies”! This is not only obtuse but generates distressing visuals to one’s mind! Ugh!
A farmer separated the bulls and cows to prepare them for the mating season a few days later.
He built a wall with barbed wires on top.
A young bull could not resist his temptations and wanted to mate a cow.
Other bulls told him there was one veteran consultant bull amongst them that could help.
The young bull went to him and asked how to cross the wall to the cows.
The consultant bull explained: “First of all.. stand 60 feet away from the wall. Then run at 60mph. Then jump at a 60° angle. Do what you want then come back the same way.”
The young bull asked: “But what if I mess up with the calculations and lose my Jewels in the barbed wires?”
The consultant bull said: “Then you become a consultant.”
Bilan 4 days ago
That Pestiscand sounds like a great idea. But what of liquid pesticides that seep into the produce?
Pickled Pete 4 days ago
A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.” he says.
He leaves the room and checks the suspect’s file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy…” the third guy replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear”
The Duke 4 days ago
You should always smile. It makes people wonder what you are up to.
sarahbowl1 Premium Member 4 days ago
Today’s column was very good. I do believe there were more than one Wilsons in Castaway, however ;)
Gameguy49 Premium Member 4 days ago
No need for a Pestiscand, just look for the produce with bug bites/holes, they are the proof.
Huckleberry Hiroshima 4 days ago
“We have your prize. What’s your name?” “Sirish Subash.” “Gesundheit. I hope you feel better, what a sneeze! Anyway, give us your name so we can issue your prize.” ""Sirish Subash." “Whew! Another great one.. but we must move forward.. what’s your name please.” ""Sirish Subash." “God bless you. Your name, we haven’t much more time.” ""Sirish Subash." “I’m outa here… I can’t get sick or I’ll have to retire, I’m old.”
Angry Indeed Premium Member 4 days ago
When you boink someone, you definitely don’t want to have them get the wrong idea!
Angry Indeed Premium Member 4 days ago
When Sheriff Would-he in Toy Story One cries, I’m reminded of Castaway. Tom Hanks should never cry again. It’s just plain irritating.
NoNameOntheBullet Premium Member 4 days ago
C’mon! How the duck does someone establish dolphin smiles and their meaning!? Bottle nosed dolphins have a naturally occurring smile to their beak due to their skull structure! Some species of dolphin (yes, there are more than one) display no such “smile”. Applying human characteristics to non-human species is a childish practice known as anthropomorphism! As such, not sustainable as proof!
Drives me crazy when people refer to their pets as “their children” or “my fur babies”! This is not only obtuse but generates distressing visuals to one’s mind! Ugh!
charles9156 4 days ago
yay boy in Indonesia!!
Pickled Pete 3 days ago
He built a wall with barbed wires on top.
A young bull could not resist his temptations and wanted to mate a cow.
Other bulls told him there was one veteran consultant bull amongst them that could help.
The young bull went to him and asked how to cross the wall to the cows.
The consultant bull explained: “First of all.. stand 60 feet away from the wall. Then run at 60mph. Then jump at a 60° angle. Do what you want then come back the same way.”
The young bull asked: “But what if I mess up with the calculations and lose my Jewels in the barbed wires?”
The consultant bull said: “Then you become a consultant.”