La Cucaracha by Lalo Alcaraz for January 13, 2025

The gray matter level is very low in this group.

Why is he talking like a caveman ?

Trump tells morons like this they are actually smarter than the other side, and they eat it up. I saw a chart that showed how long the US was number one in education, but then the late 90s we started dropping, and dropping, and dropping. Now we have a bunch in charge that wants to eliminate the Department Of Education, and let xtian schools teach fairy tales as facts.

Two brown-skinned people in a line at the Post Office were chatting with each other, but not in English. The guy in front of them got redder and redder, then finally turned and snapped “If you Mexicans want to speak Mexican, then go back to Mexico! This is America, and we speak English!”

After a brief moment of startlement, one of them replied (in perfect English) “The language of Mexico is not Mexican. It is Spanish, imported here from Europe — from Spain. But we weren’t speaking Spanish. We were speaking Navajo. You know, the original language from around these parts. So if you want to speak English, then go back to England.”

The very best time for learning a 2nd language is before you’re 10 years old, when your brain is wired for it. Occasionally I’ll be at someplace like a restaurant or convenience store and be waited on by a person whose English comes with an accent or odd word usage. I’ve taken to reminding myself that most of them — in addition to being bilingual, which I am not — probably had to pick up their own 2nd language (English) as adults. IMHO, they deserve to be admired for this.

Too many co-presidents in the coming administration.

I forget who said it, but somebody called him Vivek Rama-lama-ding-dong. So funny!!!

Ramaswamy is infamously an election denier, so there are only three choices: he is dishonest as h*ll, he is an idiot, or he is a lunatic.

WASHINGTON—Peeking out of his coffin with one eye open, a jealous President-elect Donald Trump reportedly threw his own state funeral Thursday in an effort to upstage the late Jimmy Carter’s ceremony. “I’m way deader than he is,” mumbled Trump, who lay at the opposite end of the National Cathedral as his senior aides attempted to persuade Carter funeral attendees to leave their seats and pay respects to the 45th president. “This coffin sure is impressive, isn’t it? The guy in here must be super beloved. We’re going to need way more than a national day of mourning. More like a month—but who knows, maybe my mourners will demand a year.” At press time, reports confirmed Trump had sat up in the coffin to deliver his own eulogy. - ONION