Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for March 26, 2025

  1. Blue morning
    Yakety Sax  6 days ago

    I burned 2000 calories because I forgot about my pizza in the oven……………………….!

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  2. Blue morning
    Yakety Sax  6 days ago

    A Song of Ice and Fire

    Customer: “I want an iced mocha, but please make sure the ice is cold.”

    Me: Thinking she’s joking. “You’re in luck, ma’am, we only do cold ice here, none of that hot ice stuff.”

    Customer: Deadly serious. “Oh, good! I got a drink at [Competitor] last week, and I think they used hot ice as it almost burnt my tongue!”

    Me: “…I, don’t know what to say, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I know, right?”

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  3. Blue morning
    Yakety Sax  6 days ago

    How To Cover Up Your Dragon

    Customer: “I’m looking for books about dragons.”

    Me: “The fantasy section should have a bunch. I can make some recommendations—”

    Customer: “—no, I want non-fiction books.”

    Me: “Hmm, we should have some history books that touch on dragons of myth and legend, cultural impacts, that kind of thing. I can look—”

    Customer: “Do they have photos?”

    Me: “Some will contain pictures and art, yes.”

    Customer: “No, I mean actual photos of dragons.”

    Me: “You want actual photographs of dragons?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “We don’t have those.”

    Customer: “You know, this is the third bookstore to tell me that, and I’m beginning to think there’s some kind of cover-up happening!”

    Me: “Well, dragons aren’t real. They’ve never been real, so there wouldn’t be any photos.”

    Customer: “That’s what they want you to think!”

    The customer storms out, looking angry. Two hours later, he’s back:

    Customer: “I want books on conspiracy theories…”

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  4. Avt freyjaw nurse48
    FreyjaRN Premium Member 6 days ago

    I expend more avoiding Walmart.

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  5. Screenshot 20250321 113221 facebook 2
    Lady loves a joke  6 days ago

    This happened to me, just the other day. To my delight, it turned out not to be her, after all :)

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  6. Missing large
    goboboyd  5 days ago

    So did I, but it was worse. I burned a stack of waffles. Extra butter saved them.

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  7. Red skelton
    Daltongang Premium Member 5 days ago

    Trying to avoid security again Aunty?

    They see you when your stealing,

    They know what you will take,

    They know your being bad not good,

    So run fast for goodness sake.

    You better watch out,

    You better not cry,

    You better not pout I’m telling you why,

    The cops are here to haul you away.

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  8. Missing large
    fuzzbucket Premium Member 5 days ago

    Are you avoiding her because she knows what you did?

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  9. 250
    ladykat Premium Member 5 days ago

    I hear you, Auntie!

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  10. Img 5203
    rockyridge1977  5 days ago

    If it works…….it works!!!

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  11. Stinker
    cuzinron47  5 days ago

    Some people just don’t want to admit they shop at Walmart. By the way, she’s a bit over dressed to shop at Walmart, thankfully.

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  12. Missing large
    Smeagol  5 days ago

    It is usually ‘they’ who see me first unfortunately.

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