Big Top by Rob Harrell for April 20, 2010

Already?

Good Morning Tribe! Eggs, any way you please breakfast steaks Grits, pan fried potatoes bacon, sausage and ham (all pork free) toast, waffles pastries and fresh fruit Pirate coffee, nuclear coffee, lattes and CocoMocha Assorted teas and juices Milk, plain, chocolate or strawberry

Pour the sauce, Kingston! He asked for it, so give it to him good!!

Good morning, Carmy!

MMMMMM, I’ll have a steak, medium rare, pan fried potatoes, sausage, waffles, pirate coffee and chocolate milk, please?

Good Morning Everyone

Carmy ~ What exactly is pork free ham made out of?

Good Morning Everyone!

Good Morning, LuvH8.

How are you doing?

Yum, Carmy! I’ll have rare steak, and a pastry for each hand, and a pot of Lady grey tea, please.

HI JFRI!

Good Morning Lonewolf

I just woke up and I am congested. Do you think I should call the doctor’s office and see if they want me to reschedule since I have a cold? They are weird about things like that.

Good Morning JFri and Marg! Y’all’s orders are up!

Not only bad taste, Dusty tastes bad, too.

Do it Do it! give it to him good, Kingston.

Good morning Tribe See you all later, so have a great day.

;-)

LuvH8, I would call the doctor. You never know.

Yep, hate to make people sick at the doctor’s office, and it’s not like there isn’t anything that can’t wait.

Hi & Bye LW18

Thanks for breakfast Carmy but I just can’t stay awake….

”Morning WoodEye, You can have your order wrapped up “to go” or just get some when you come back later. I’ll save some just for you!

Good Morning, Woodeye.

HI, MARG!!!

Hi, WoodEye!

Good Night WoodEye

Good Night, Woodeye & Marg.

LuvH8, I’m calling it a night. I have a long day scheduled tomorrow. Good Night and take care of yourself!

Good Night Everyone.

P&L

Good Night Lonewolf!

Goodnight JFri and WoodEye!

Good Morning Lewreader! Good Morning rac0308!

This week’s Joke Theme is “Blondes and/or not-the-brightest-bulb” ~ selected by Rmom ~ if you would like to contribute.

Have a Fun Day Everyone!

There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”

Three convicts escape from jail and are being chased by police. They turn onto a dark alley and spot a bunch of potato sacks. Each of the three hide in one.

A policeman quickly comes through the scene and hears a rustling from the potato sacks. He goes over to them and kicks the first potato sack.

‘Meow!’ says the a convict. And the policeman goes to the next muttering, ‘Stupid cats.’

He kicks the second potato sack and the second convict says, ‘Woof!’

‘Stupid dogs!’ says the policeman while moving on to the next potato sack. The policeman kicks it, nothing, so he kicks it again and the last convict says, ‘Potato potato!’

CARMY Wonderful spread. I hear they have produced a pig with an uncloven hoof (or is it cloven) that is kosher., at least by Catskill interpretation. I’m no Biblical scholar, but it seems like a move in the right direction.Now they got to work on lobsters who call their mothers every Friday.

What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence

Morning TRIBE! Tip of the week: Don’t mention your wife’s naturally dark roots..

Good Morning Tribe

Good Morning, Lewreader!

Good morning all. Can I get a steak medium rare, 3 eggs over easy, wheat toast, grits, and can I send out for some real pork sausage, bacon and ham, please?

Great breakfast Carmy! Many thnaks! Morning JFri, Marg, Lewreader, Woodeye, runar, and FELLOW BABY (when you get here!)

Good, Morning, MisngNOLA!

I’ve got the real thing for you. None of that turkey bacon or what ever here!

Good Morning Tribe!

I’m here FELLOW BABY. Good morning!

Good Morning, Lonewolf!

Good Morning Grog, Lewreader, MisngNOLA & LuvH8

I need Doc’s nuclear coffee or Cowboy coffee this morning!

Good Morning all

Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over. “That’s a nice flock of sheep.”, she said. “Well thank you.”, said the herder. “Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.”, said the woman. “Okay.”, replied the herder. “If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?”, asked the woman. “Sure.”, said the sheepherder.

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, “382”. “Wow.”, said the herder. “That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home.”

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, “Okay, now I have a proposition for you”.

“What is it?”, queried the woman.

“If I can guess the real color of your hair… can I have my dog back?”

MisngNOLA, I never have less than the real thing here either, sir. Sometimes there’s a reason for two menus. :^)

Good morning & great joke, rac0308!

Good Morning Rac0308

Good to see you, sir!

Busy busy here’s one more then gotta go

Blonde inventions:

1.Tricycle kickstand 2.Solar flashlight 3.Fire proof matches 4.Inflatable dartboard 5.Glass hammer 6.Black light bulb 7.Boomerang grenade

Great start to the day, rac0308.

Morning, Doctor Toon!

Good Morning, Doc

Doc, I have tried many “thoughtful repairs” in an emergency, but not that one! LOL

Doc–Since you brought it up, I have to tell you that until Wolfangil came along, I would not go shopping with my previous “significant others”. Now I feel that it is a lot of fun together and one of our favorite places to just go and spend an hour or two is the Dollar Store or thrift store. :^)

Grog, do you have today off as well?

Doc–Around here, that is a junk yard or dealer special order part.

Yes, I do Lonewolf

Grog–Cool! Busy today or are you relaxing on your day off?

It’ be busy, getting stuff done, but not as bad as yesterday. I’m waiting for my a/c contractor to show up. Maybe I should go make some breakffast!

I am headed out in a bit to a plumbing supply outlet for the switch to get my sump pump up and running on it’s own.

Good Morning All!

@rac0308 - Actually, they do make black light bulbs, I have a couple of them.

Did you hear about the blonde who got a set of waterskis for her birthday, and spend the next 3 years looking for a lake with a slope?

Good Morning DFrog!

That one got me going pretty good! LOL

Good morning, tribe!

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So, I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, “has your plane arrived yet?”

A chat channel spat ended when a wannabe hacker was duped into deleting his own hard drive. The 26 year-old German claimed he was the baddest hacker in town and threatened to attack a moderator on #stopHipHop’s RC Channel because he thought he’d been thrown out. He demanded the moderator cough up his IP address and prepare to be hacked. The moderator sent back a bunch of numbers and there then followed a period in which the moderator assumes all manner of hack tools were unleashed at the IP address. Finally the hacker declared success. “I can see your E: drive disappearing, he gloated, “D: is down 45 percent!” he cried, before disappearing into the ether. It seems he’d been hot enough to hack his own address.

Good Morning All. Carmy, what? No Dusty poodle buns on the breakfast menu? I will have waffles with fresh fruit please.

Good Morning, Rmom.

Hi, Terry! Got that switch replaced yet? Grog - Most basements have sump pumps, but I know Texas doesn’t have a lot of basements, so maybe that’s why you think they are uncommon?

Good Morning Doc. We just had two definite summer weather days and my body is paying for it. That is two days with a shovel in hand, but it was sure nice spending time outdoors.

Maybe, Rmom. I’ve never owned a place with a basement.

Ya bunch of whiners! You want pork, go ahead and have it. Next time I do breakfast I’ll make sure there’s pork for y’all. Forgive me for trying to provide a healthier breakfast.

:-P

Hi, Doc! My husband likes to go shopping with me, and sometimes I don’t mind if he does… :) But I prefer to go clothes shopping without him, because he keeps picking out things in the lingere department, and I need to buy clothes that I really will wear instead. He used to be really bad in the grocery store, because when my back was turned, all sorts of stuff kept “jumping in the cart”. As long as I don’t have a tight food budget, not a problem, but if I’m trying to stretch dollars, pies from the bakery aren’t the way to do it. Once we have spare time on our hands again, we’ll probably do the garage sales, flea markets & thrift stores. Fun places to spend time and not much money. But right now I’ve got too much stuff and not enough time.

Good Morning, Cleo.

Rmom, I need to go to the supply outlet today.

Take it easy, Cleo. We’re not as young as we used to be!

Good morning, Grog! I thought that might explain it. Carmy - It is one thing to eat healthy in real life - but in virtual food, I’d rather not worry about what’s high in calories, fat grams, etc.

While attending a convention, I breakfasted in a cafe, next to two gray-haired men from the same symposium. I overheard one remark, “You know, this is the first time in 40 years we’ve gone to one of these without our wives.” His pal leaned back, contemplating what such freedom might portend. “I know,” he said, laying his menu aside. “Let’s have biscuits and gravy!”

Good Morning, Carmy. Not that I don’t appreciate the effort, after eating turkey bacon and various other healthier choices with turkey, I decided that the shortened life span was worth eating the real thing. I only have one life to live - and I’m occasionally going to allow myself to enjoy it.

Good Morning Terry and you have that right. My body is much crankier in the mornings than it used to be.

Good Morning, cleo.

Digital Frog said, about 1 hour ago @rac0308 - Actually, they do make black light bulbs, I have a couple of them.

I was thinking the same thing, they’ve been around a looooooong time, but hesitate after the word black and the meaning changes

A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she is low on gas, so she stops at the gas station. While she’s pumping her gas, she notices that she had locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, the blonde asks the attendant for a coat hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself. She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring. The blonde outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around. Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car is saying, “A little more to the left. A little more to the right … ”

Q: If a blonde and a brunette fell off of a building, who would hit the ground first?

runar said, about 9 paraphrases ago

“Not only bad taste, Dusty tastes bad, too.”

Go buy some Starkist Tuna!

Good Morning, Tribe and All!

LuvH8, I’m guessing the pork-free ham is turkey or some other such meat. (Tofu anyone?)

Hi, bunnyface!

Good Morning Grog, Rmom & bunny.

: The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down. (Blows Raspberry)

Good Morning Everyone!

Why do men like blonde jokes?

Not a blonde joke, but I simply cannot resist this one:

A man lived next door to a monk. He constantly heard a strange noise coming from the house. Well, at first he tried to just ignore it. But after a while he just couldn’t take it so he went and knocked on the monk’s door.

The monk opened the door and said, “Yes, can I help you?”

The man asked, “I’d like to know what that noise coming from your house is.”

The monk replied, “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you, you’re not a monk.”

So the man asked, “Well, how do I become a monk?”

The monk said, “To start, you must go the next 5 years eating only bread.”

So the man, determined to find out what that noise was, went home and spent the next 5 years eating only bread. Finally, he returned to the monk and said, “OK, it’s been 5 years and I’ve eaten nothing but bread. Now can I know what that noise is?”

The monk replied, “No, you’re still not a monk. Now you must go 7 years and drink nothing but water.” Well, the man wasn’t looking forward to waiting 7 more years. But as he had already come 5 years, and he was determined to find the source of that noise, he went home and drank nothing but water for 7 years.

When finally he reached the end of those 7 long years, he once again returned to the monk and said, “It’s been 7 years and I’ve drank nothing but water, now can I find out what that noise is?”

The monk said, “No, you’re still not a monk. Now we must test your faith. Go to the highest cliff in the area and jump off.”

Well, the man had come this far and he wasn’t going to back down, so he went to the highest cliff and jumped. Luckily, there was a safety net at the bottom of the cliff, and when he climbed out the monk was waiting for him. The monk led him back to his house and said, “You have passed the tests, you are now a monk. I assume you now wish to know what causes the noise you have been hearing?”

The man replied, “Oh God yes, I’ve waited over 12 years to find out.”

So the monk gestured for him to follow and led him down the stairs into the basement. Once in the basement, the monk opened a door which led into a tunnel. The monk told the man to go to the end of the tunnel. So the man started walking, it went on for ages, but finally he reached the end.

There was only one more door between him and the source of the noise, he could tell. Slowly he grabbed the doorknob, turned it, and opened the door. In the room he saw…

I’m sorry I can’t tell you what he saw. You’re not a monk.

Two blondes are driving along a highway surrounded by wheat fields, when they see the curious sight of two other blondes screaming for helping and waving their arms from a canoe in the middle of a paddock. One turns to the other – “It’s blondes like that who gives blondes a bad name.” The other glares at the two ’sinking’, and says “Yeah, if I could swim, I’d go over there and knock ‘em out!”

How many lightbulbs does it take for a person who can’t tell a joke to screw it up?

I mean…..

Hi, Cleo & LuvH8! LuvH8 gets the cookie! I’ve got to dash off for a few hours. Younger son needs to renew his learner’s permit at the DMV. Then we’re going to go buy a new washer. BBL

Hi & Bye Rmom ~ Thanks for the cookie!

Bunnyface ~ Tofu? Turkey? hmm…. I think I would prefer just to eat turkey made from turkey.

Good Night Doc T

Ah, but what of those who can’t eat pork hams? Should they be denied the joys of ham sandwiches?

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A: “Look! They spelled MACY’S wrong!”

Q: What do you call a really smart blonde? A: A golden retriever.

Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde who had a bumper sticker that said, “ALL BLONDES AREN’T DUMB?” A: No one could read it because it was hung upside-down.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home? A: She moved.

And for you blondes:

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.

Bunnyface, you are a real

TEASE!

I read throught that whole loooong joke for “I’m sorry I can’t tell you what he saw. You’re not a monk!”

Morning, LuvH8!!!

Yes, I read it too! And he didn’t even give any hint of what the sound sounded like to guess from!

Bunnyface ~ If those who can’t eat pork hams want a turkey ham sandwich then they should go for it. I just prefer my pork to taste like pork and my turkey to taste like turkey.

Good Morning Grog!!!

Grog said: GrogGenius_badge said, about 2 hours ago

Good Morning, Carmy. Not that I don’t appreciate the effort, after eating turkey bacon and various other healthier choices with turkey, I decided that the shortened life span was worth eating the real thing. I only have one life to live - and I’m occasionally going to allow myself to enjoy it.

That’s just what my Dad used to say….right up until he died WAY too young!

Carmy, I appreciate the thought & effort!

Bunnyface, virtual tomatoes are flying your way.

Thank you rac0308. I forgot the punchline! (blonde thing)

Morning, JFri, Though I can appreciate that thought, I’d rather live a shorter life and enjoy it than a longer one while being miserable doing it.

I will not eat turkey bacon & egg beaters. Blech!

Hello Bunnyface(bmonk).

Great jokes everyone!

Beautiful day here, Grog. Going up to 70 and nothing but sunny skies! How about you?

Morning, Grog!

You’re welcome, JFri!

Grog, I will not eat green eggs and ham, not here nor there not anywhere!

Laters!

Cloudy, gloomy and the ground is still wet from rain. Thank you for bragging, Lonewolf.

Good Morning Lonewolf

Hello, LuvH8!!

Lonewolf, The weather’s been the same since Friday. Mostly cloudy & rain & thunderstorms likely.

Sorry about that LuvH8. Can I send you a ray of sunshine?

My mom used to make green eggs on St Patrick’s day. I couldn’t bring myself to eat them!

Grog, usually you have better weather than we do.

@lonewolf - Oh goody - At least the weather’ll be nice when I get home….. I’m in the “cooler by the lake” zone seein’s how I’m about 300 yds from the lake

I don’t know a ray of sunshine might make me spontaneously combust again.

They used to sell those spray on colors for frosting. If you spray the blue on the chocolate cake it looks like the frosting is growing mold. Great way to keep others from eating the cake!

Hi Rac0308, the “by the lake” temps are affected by the wind. What are you doing by the lake?

Hi rac0308!!!!

Workin’ - I pop in and out as time allows

GM - LuvH8!!

Workin’ 300 yards from the lake is great………………..in the nice weather.

Lonewolf We get plenty of rainy days down here.

I finally loaded the last of my photos. I kept getting errors so it took forever.

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?

“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”

“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”

Those are some great photos, Grog.

♠Lonewolf♠ said, 6 minutes ago Workin’ 300 yards from the lake is great………………..in the nice weather.

If you’re outside. they let me out of my tomb about once an hour.

What’s brown and red and black and blue?

Rac0308

I like the “colorful” way you have of describing your work area.

I give up, LuvH8.

What do you give up Lonewolf?

The answer to you’re joke….

Thanks, Lonewolf.

What joke?

LuvH8

You asked, “What’s brown and red and black and blue?”.

Your welcome, Grog.

Why do people plant trees directly under power lines? It seems kind of messed up to me.

Oh! (giggles)

What’s brown and red and black and blue?

A brunette who’s told one too many blonde jokes.

LuvH8–Make me feel like maybe I missed something there. I even went back and rechecked the previous posts! LOL

Come back to us LuvH8…. You’re on a higher plane than I can understand?

@Lonewolf - It’s kinda dark….really dry with lots of pretty lights and screens. Sorry tomb would be the wrong word with the lights and all. Bat cave…..

Heheheh! —–Bat cave……………..

Does your entrance for the Batmobile come from Lower Wacker Drive? LOL

I’m about 40 miles give or take north of there

Wow. We got some sun outside for a change. The contractor’s gone. I better get going and start getting some things around the house done.

BBL

(giggles)

Bye Grog!

I’m leaving now too.

Lot’s of Luv! Have a Fun Day!

Rac0308–40 miles, that’s quite a distance. I don’t like working in the heart of the city anyhow.

Take it easy and have a great day, LuvH8 & Grog!

I’ve got to get some things done today also. Take care Rac0308. I’ll catch you later.

NAVSTA GLAKES - It’s a wonderful place

I know exactly where you are talking about! LOL Nothing like living in the Chi-Town area!

Outta here for real this time!! Bye All!

YAY!!!

Me too

Have a wonderful day

Hello?

Echo Echo Echo Echo Echo Echo

Hi Johnny

I just stopped by for an ice cold PEPSI break.

Well, that didn’t work at all! But I did get something in red.

It’s pretty nice outside now (76 & humid), but that can change in 5 minutes.

Hi Grog! Nice to stop in whilst I screw up my posts. My sun seems to have gone away, I am glad I got out while I did.

Hi, Grog & johnny! It is lovely weather here right now - 70, sunny, light wind. I hear a front is supposed to move in over night and the next few days are supposed to have t-storms.

Hi all!

Lot’s of good jokes today.

Carmy May I have a sham ham and fake egg breakie? Also decaf coffee, tang and powdered milk!

:-D (Call me a Bratwurst!!)

Hi JohnnyDoc!

Hi, Shika!

A dumb blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, “Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.” “OH, NO!” exclaimed the blonde. But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. “Who was God’s son?” asked Saint Peter. The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, “Andy.” “Andy? That’s interesting. What made you say that?” inquired Saint Peter. Then the blonde started to sing, “Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me…”

Good one rmom!

Hi Shika, and Rmom!

rac0308 Good joke about the dog! Cute.

Hi bmonk!

If everyone has gone out, I will too. see you later!

Hi JFri!! Missed you too!

So am I. I just came back from a walk. Looks like good timing. It’s getting darker as I type.

Hi Shika & Rmom

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?

A: It’s on.

It’s off.

It’s on.

It’s off.

It’s on.

It’s off.

Grog - Is it supposed to be severe weather, or just wet?

Rmom, for today, at least, just wet with a chance of T-storms, nothing really severe though. I think our rain chances increase as the week goes on. I’m not sure if any of that is supposed to be severe in nature.

Well the party’s over for now. Back to the chores.

Grog - Good to hear. I don’t know if we’re supposed to get severe weather or not, but considering it is spring in KS, it wouldn’t be abnormal.

Is anyone still around? I’m just taking a break.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

Hi, Terry! Just shredding old Christmas cards, etc. that my mom saved. Whatcha doin’?

Dry said, 8 appointments ago

“Mom was an RN, so of course she knew the procedure. It’s true what the say, doctors and nurses make the worst patients. They know too much, but that also helps, I think, because they know if those taking care of them are competent or not.”

Another advantage medical personnel have: they know what questions to ask. The disadvantage is that they are often tempted to take over their care themselves. As the saying goes, “One who doctors himself has a fool for a doctor.”

Hi Rmom. Right after my last post, there was something I had to take care of.

Right now, talkin’ to you!

Hi, bunnyface! What’s really bad is when someone without medical training (like my sister) thinks she knows more than the doctors because she’s “researched it on the internet.” I’ve given orders to my husband & sons to never let my sister have anything to do with my healthcare! She thinks it is smarter to bully people, than to pleasantly persuade people, when you need medical care.

So what is the answer, Rmom?

Terry - I just finished with the cards - now to start figuring out what to do with other stuff laying around. Some I’ll have to temporarily relocate, because of the washers. But any that I can just trash, I’d rather, instead of just shuffling it around.

A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call twenty blondes in a freezer?

LW18 (LADYWOLF) said, 8 frights ago

“I’m……………………………………

”Back!

“Did you all miss me? :-) ”

We must have missed you–or you would have gone to the emergency room with a bullet-hole. ;-)

Funny, Rmom.

You, too, Bunnyface(bmonk)).

Hello again every one! I’m on a P&P break.

Good one, bunnyface! Grog - Pepsi & what?

PEPSI & Pringles, Rmom

Hi, Grog–P&P sounds good to me. Be right back.

Ah, Grog! I like Pringles okay, but I think I like Lay’s better. Actually, I usually end up buying the store brand at Wal-Mart. Pepsi & potato chips do sound like a good snack - I need the extra salt according to my doc, to keep my bp up.

Funny, Rmom (not really) but I have to keep my bp down. I’m taking medication for that and other than the occasional salty snacks, I do not salt anything except celery and the very rare occasion I have french fries.

Most of the time when I snack I eat Fritos, partly for flavor and partly for the additional fibre not found in regular chips.

The blonde at the pearly gates reminds me of the one where a woman dies and comes to St. Peter. He looks over her life story, and says, “Well, you are right on the cusp. It really could go either way. I’ll give you a little test, just one question, and if you answer right, you can come in. Spell ‘Love’.”

“L-o-v-e”

“Very good, welcome to heaven!”

A couple of years later, the same woman is hanging around the gates chatting to Peter when he says, “I really need a little break here. You want to watch the gate for a few minutes for me?”

She replies, “Sure! I’d be happy to do that.”

Well, when Peter is off taking care of business, lo and behold, who should come up but the woman’s former husband. She does just like Peter, looking over the story of his life, and then says, “Well, you are right on the edge of getting in or going to the other place. I’ll give you a little test, just one question, and if you answer right, you can come in.

“Spell ‘Czechoslovakia’.”

bunnyface - LOL!

Q: What do you call twenty blondes in a freezer?

A: Frosted Flakes.

Speaking of a blond Grog/Grogette, I didn’t find one, but here’s a blonde Cousin It…

Back! That was funny, Bunnyface!

And I like the “Frosted Flakes”, too Rmom.

I need the laughter right about now! Heheh.

Nice, bunnyface, either Cousin it or a member of ZZ Top.

Grog - My hubby’s in the same situation as you, and he loves to add salt. Of course, with all the stress at work, the doctor just doubled his dose of bp med.

But, Grog, is she too tall for you?

Returning home from work, a young blonde woman was shocked to find that her house had been ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash. The blonde woman ran out on the porch and shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog. Then she sat down on the steps, put her face in her hands and moaned, “I came home to find all my possessions stolen. I called the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”

I wouldn’t think hospital cooks (I won’t call them chefs) are allowed to use salt in their cooking or anything else that might give the food flavor.

For the most part my taste buds can do without salt, except those items listed. Most anything you buy is pre-salted anyway.

Sometimes when I go out for lunch or dinner I really notice when things are over-salted in the cooking process. Makes it really hard for me to enjoy the meal. The first couple bites might be ok, but the more you eat, the more you notice it.

I do like the jokes–I’m even getting some new ones, like the Frosted Flakes, or the blind policeman…

The blonde came into the emergency room with a shattered finger due to a gunshot injury. The attending nurse asked how it happened.

“Well, it’s like this. I was dumped by my boyfriend, so I decided to kill myself. After I got the gun, I first put it to my breast to shoot myself in my broken heart–but then I thought, ‘Why wreck my $10,000 breast job and leave a ugly corpse?’

“So then I stuck the gun in my mouth, but then I thought, ‘Why should I destroy my perfect teeth after all those years of braces, and the pain, and the whitening strips and all?’

“So finally I stuck the gun into my ear. And then I though, ‘This is going to be really loud.’ And I stuck my finger in my other ear…”

bmonk, I just noticed the change of your handle now. How observant of me.

I always admired tall women. I’m a leg man!

You’re rolling today, bmonk.

I think hospital cooks have a difficult time: so many special menus to prepare, so many patients who are on restricted diets, including low sodium, and you wouldn’t believe how long it takes to get the veggies mushy…

No, really, I suspect they cook with low sodium in general because so many patients need it. But I always found a pack of salt and pepper with the meal.

Legs!…………………..ZZTop!

I’m awake!

Whew!! Less typing now, Bmonk.

Grog - Thanks for pointing out the name change. I guess I’ll have to quit calling him bunnyface now.

(Good joke, bmonk!)

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head?

Ah, so those are the magic words, Lonewwolf

From bunny to Cuzit.

Intelligent life?

Yes, they are, Grog!

I’ll be right back.

Hey, Cleo. You’ve been busy lately!

Grog said, 12 makeovers ago

”bmonk, I just noticed the change of your handle now. How observant of me.

“I always admired tall women. I’m a leg man!”

Thought it was time to go back to the original handle. But here I thought you were a hair man from your avatar…

bmonk - I do realize the hospital chefs have a rough time of it. I think the heart floor didn’t deliver the seasoning packets with the food, or else the quantity wasn’t sufficient. My brother has gotten so desperate at times, he’ll eat salt straight. I’m on a beta blocker for my migraines, so I don’t have near the dips in my bp. I will say that the best hospital food (for patients) was at the small speciality hospital where my husband had his neck surgery. It was basically room service from the restaurant there - cooked to order. Order it, they’d cook it, and then deliver to your room. Didn’t need to be during normal meal times, although I don’t think they were open 24 hours.

Besides, cleo, this way I can dress in your favorite outfit, and nobody minds…

In RL, bmonk, I think hairy women would either scare me or repulse me.

But I do like ‘em tall & leggy.

Well, I’ve still got things to do before dinner. My break was a little longer than I anticipated.

BBL

@Rmom, I did notice some years back that I did get wicked cravings for salt–i.e., usually potato chips or something like that–and finally realized how little salt the cooks here used in most dishes. Since then they’ve gotten better, and I also tend to use salt more often. Result: no more cravings for salt.

Well, not overwhelming anyway. I now need another excuse to buy such things.

Bmonk - I think that when we crave a certain food, we probably have a deficiency for a certain mineral, etc.

Or we’re pregnant?

Terry, yes I have had no time lately. Today was a day to just unwind a bit. I went for a long drive in the country.

bmonk, good point, just don’t trip over the hair. Watch out for the salt. When I ate more salt, I craved potato chips too, but eventually I decided to quit eating chips, now I sprinkle one of 5 different salts on a dish if I think it benefits what I am eating, but I try to be sparing.

It’s actually surprising how little salt will do.

Or just one serving of far too many processed foods…

(And don’t get me started on Fast food French Fries…)

Bmonk - I figure pregnant women probably have a better chance of being deficient than non-pregnant people. I don’t remember getting any strange cravings while pregnant, just extremely lethargic.

Bmonk - I’ve noticed that the salt content on fast food french fries vary greatly, so I always taste mine before adding salt. Having worked at Micky D’s in my younger years, I realize it depends on the person salting, and if those fries were on the top layer when salted, or down further. Salt will stick better to fries when they’re still warm, once they’ve cooled off, it is practically impossible to get the salt to stay on them.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head?

A: A Space Invader

Good evening, Tribe!

GM announced today that they are moving the switch for the bright lights from the steering column back down to the floor. Too many blondes were getting their feet caught in the steering wheel.

Good one, Saucy!

One of the first generation blonde jokes:

What did the blonde say when her boyfriend blew in her ear?

Answer (I must go now): ¡ןןıɟǝɹ ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ sʞuɐɥʇ

Q: How do you measure a blonde’s intelligence?

A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear.

rac0308: There are such things as solar flaslights, and they work very well! A solar cell charges a capacitor, which then illuminates a set of LED’s - brilliantly. A friend has a pocket version which works beautifully.

I hope a blond invented it. I really do.

Because I’m a Blonde

Hi & Bye Everyone!

Are you leaving us so soon, LuvH8?

Everyone is sure on a joke run here.

Hi cleo! Missed you again.

Hi rmom

Bye! BBL

cleokaya said, 19 minutes ago

Everyone is sure on a joke run here.

LOL! It’s a joke! Run!

Greetings TRIBE

I think I’m really glad that I’m not a blonde.

Hello Shika & serena.

HEEELLLLLLOOOOOOO!……BIGTOP!

Y’all wore yerselves out tellin’ them silly jokes ah’ see.

Good Evening Tribe & All

Finally got my sump pump project done!

Hello Lonewolf.

Hey, is that a new pain reliever?

Tribeandall

Good one Grog.

I am awaiting my lady to watch a movie and that is no joke.

Good Evening Ladywolf, Doc, & Grog

Sounds good to me, Grog.

For Lonewolf and anyone else who’s into legs and/or ZZ Top

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xuir2cpNuQ

You guys have a leg up on the comments, I see. ;-)

Hi, Cleo. What movie are you watching tonight?

Hi Doc.

Good evening, cleo, doc, LW18 & Lonewolf!!!

Hello Grog, cleo, Doc, and Lonewolf. It’s good to be here.

I think I got everybody. I just had a late dinner due to my project. I’m done with all and ready to relax!

Hi, Tribeandall! Boy, I take a couple hours off, and no new blonde jokes? Terry - Glad to hear you got that repair done.

Question: How did the blonde die ice fishing?

Well I’m relaxing too! Just watching a hockey game right now. and commenting to you all.

Lonewolf, did you see the link on the last page?

I just turned the hockey game off! Too many mistakes.

Good Night, Doc.

Hope you have a good night at work!

I’ll catch you in the AM.

I was just listening to it, Grog.

I have most of their videos saved to my hard drive and back up drive.

Hi Rmom, glad you can join in.

With the splitting headache that’s coming on right now, I could use a good pain reliever!

Hello Rmom!

I only have vinyl and one greatest hits cd. No video.

See you later then, Doc.

The ones I don’t have I copy off of YouTube, Grog.

Question: How did the blonde die ice fishing?

Answer: She was run over by the Zamboni machine.

You know Lonewolf I really never gave a flying fig about music videos, but I suppose if there were must have videos, those of ZZ Top would be must haves.

Those are favorites for sure, Grog

Funny, Rmom.

Rmom’s picking up the pace.

“Hee, hee!” Good one Rmom.

Caught up running errands, my mom’s friend forgot where she’d parked. A police officer, noticing her agitation, asked, “Is something wrong?” “I can’t find my car,” she explained. “What kind is it?” She gave him a quizzical look. “Name some.”

Emily Sue passed away and her less than bright husband called 911. The 911 operator told the man that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator. The man replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?” There was a long pause and finally the husband said, “How ‘bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”

That last one sounds like me rmom!

And on that note, this dizzy blonde is going to bed before she falls over.

Have a nice night everyone.

LOL!

Good night, Shika!

Good Night, Shika

A magic and novelty shop is located in a tourist area, and it attracts customers from all over the world. One day, a man came in and started browsing. He spotted a ventriloquist’s dummy and asked, “Do you have one that speaks Spanish?”

Is that how Jeff Dunham acquired Jose Hallepenio?

LW18 - I have no idea who Jeff Dunham & Jose Hallepenio are.

Lonewolf, I seem to recall that Sharp dressed man was also a great music video, yet I can’t seem to find it on youtube,

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QgNKI2CRQFo/0.jpg

wuzat?

LW18 - You’ve got to realize, I’ve never had cable TV in my life. When we’re on vacation, if cable is available, I have to make sure it is tuned to something safe. Therefore, Fox News and Mythbusters is about the only TV I’ve watched this year. (If you don’t count DVD’s or VHS.) I don’t follow entertainment or sports. Politics, religion & homeschooling are what I usually keep up on (other than comics). But since those 2 of the 3 topics are off-limits under BT, I don’t talk about those here. Comics ARE my entertainment.

Oh okay! I understand Rmom.

Something safe? What do you mean Rmom? Do you have infants you don’t want watching certain programs?

Well I guess Achmed, or Walter, might not be safe.

Grog - My kids get upset whenever Rush Limbaugh uses a foul word, or improper use of a biblical word. They think it is scandalous when married couples kiss when other people can watch (even though that doesn’t stop my husband & me). So, we don’t watch anything sexier than “Star Wars”, “LOTR”, “X-Men” or the news.

I like Mythbusters. It’s a good show.

I don’t like Rush Limbaugh either, He is so controversial.

Rmom, if you get TCM, leave it on that channel. No Rush there.

Kudos to you Rmom I think that you are doing a good job.

Thankfully, I had read a little about Mythbusters before we went to FL to my in-laws for Christmas. There was a Mythbusters marathon that weekend, so we watched several episodes of it. While we’re were in a senior gated community, our options for entertainment were severely limited, especially because my father-in-law didn’t have WiFi until towards the end of our visit. (Thanks to my hubby buying a router & getting it set up). I’ve found that it is possible to watch clean comedy on the internet - here’s one example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3chTCJExNQ

Grog - We get absolutely nothing on our TV. It isn’t digital, we don’t have a converter box, no cable, no satellite, nada. It is only capable of playing DVD’s or VHS tape. Of course, my geek son has figured out how to watch television over the internet, but with our really strict filter, he shouldn’t be able to watch anything more than PG-13.

Thank you for sharing that link Rmom It did indeed make me laugh.

Thanks, LW18 - Having made some really bad choices for several years, I hope to keep my kids from making similar ones. So far, so good. Of course, homeschooling them from K-12 made it easier to keep the negative influences away. I’ve noticed a huge difference in our oldest son’s ability to resist peer pressure from when he was about 14 to now that he’s in college. (We switched churches when he was 14 because the peer pressure wasn’t always positive.) Back then, he was willing to go along with the crowd. Now, he’s willing to stand up for what he believes in, and isn’t worried about being liked.

Well that does help while you’re at home, but when you’re on the road, you’re being there should limit what they watch. But Turner Classic Movies are gernerally good movies that for the very most part will not display foul language or excessive graphic violence.

Well it’s time for me to hit the road…the day starts too early.

Good night Tribeandall

Grog - We made a rule several years ago that they have to check with us, before watching anything coming over the TV. We have convinced them that it is for their own good, not because we are control freaks, so even though it has been several years, they still ask before watching a program for a series that we haven’t approved in the past. It is good that we can trust them enough to leave them alone in the motel room now, while my hubby & I go out shopping or to eat. I don’t know that their tastes would run to what is on TCM. The few times I’ve borrowed videos from the library that might fall into that genre, they haven’t been interested, even if I play it right in front of them. For a while there, when we were going to the library on a weekly basis, I made a point of looking at the videos to see if there was anything that I thought might be of interest to the family. That’s why they know about WKRP & the Addams family, but both were something they said they didn’t want to watch often because of the content, even though they understood the humor.

Good night, Grog!

I’ll leave you with this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fQ-HHxLvng&feature=related

I’ve got to head to bed, too!

Didn’t want to watch WKRP? (Gasp) I can undersrtand The Adams Family because kids don’t like watching B&W. I guess Leave It To Beaver is totally out of the question.

That is understandable, considering all the filth that is on T.V. these days.

No bed for me until after the comics update, because when I do go to bed, I don’t want anything to disturb me at all. I am a light sleeper.

Grog - They’re trying to keep their minds pure. Of course, Mom corrupts them sometimes, just because I think they need to not be too naive when they are “out in the world”.

Now, I’m really leaving!

That’s grandma for you!

Good Night, Grog & Rmom. I laid down to see if this headache would subside.

Take 2 Tribeandalls and call me in the morning, Lonewolf

Thanks for the link Rmom. I’m finally outa here.

Good Night again you two!

See you all soon then.

LW18 - Sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m the “Mom” in the above comment, and I’m not a grandma yet.

Heheh! That’s classic, Rmom.

Oh okay! thanks for clearing that up. Rmom

“Hee, hee!”

What’s are you laughing at, Ladywolf?

Oh nothing, I just thought that Rmom was referring to her mother then I read her comment.

I caught that right away. I didn’t think she would catch it until morning. :^)

Almost time for the update.