Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 21, 2006

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling Office Follies Boss: Wilson! My office! NOW! Boss: Great job, Wilson! You increased productivity 24% this year! CHASING SECRETARIES AROUND A DESK, INC. Oprah's Classix Comix Not a substitute for reading the text or for studio discussion of the text A Million Little Pieces That night I injected heroin, crack and horse tranquilizers into my eyeball. Boy #1: Want a Yoo-Hoo? Boy #2: OK. Blood and vomit spewed as I fought dozens of cops in a peyote-fueled fury. Policeman: Top o' the mornin', lad. Man: Hi! I gnawed Oprah's head off and held it up to the shrieking studio audience. Oprah: Your book is so TRUE! Man: Thanks. Lion King 1 1/4 Timon: You did it! You defeated Scar and took over the pride! Timon: What will you do first? Simba: What any lion would do. Simba: ...kill all the cubs to accelerate the females' reproductive readiness. Strange Yet Untrue, And Certainly Libelous John Zachry, of Mission Viejo, Calif., is a bank manager with a wife and two children... ...yet five years ago he knocked over a Seven-Eleven to fund a trip to Cabo with his mistress. I'm Sleeping With Your Wife's On First Man: What's the name of the fella on first? Man #2: "I'm Sleeping With Your Wife." Man: What?! I'll kill you! Man #2: No, he's playing third. What?! I'll Kill You: What's going on here? Man: Where did you meet her? Tell me! Man #2: Urk. SHORTSTOP. Dinkle, The Unlovable Loser Dinkle: I welcome the sweet bliss of oblivion. Sorry, Dinkle! Each of your appearances in this comic strip generates thousands of e-mails asking for more! We can't let you die. Dinkle: ? Dinkle: Sigh