Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 17, 2007

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Presents: News of the Times Crisis In Africa! As part of "News of the Times'" constant mission to bring its readers news of the greatest import from every part of the world, we present this urgent report from the Darfur region of the Sudan. Brad Pitt, in this war-torn corner of the globe for some reason or another, absolutely refuses to reveal whether he is any closer to marrying Angelina Jolie. Angelina, seen here, in Darfur pointing something out, similarly will not disclose information about any impending nuptials, heating this marriage crisis to a full boil. Brad's pal George Clooney was spotted in the area a while ago (in front of a burnt village, don't ask), and he refused to discuss whether the couple is tying the knot anytime soon. Actress Mia Farrow arrived in the region, in an apparent attempt to bring the world's attention to "Brangelina's" lack of wedding plans. But it was to no avail. One can only wonder what would happen if the crisis expands to include the couple's baby plans. We in the media have done our part to inform the world. What can concerned Americans do? Contact the United Nations and demand action. If the U.N. wasn't set up to prevent this type of celebrity marriage crisis, what was it set up to prevent?