Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 04, 2009
Transcript:
Danae: Daddy... I have a technical question on my plan to fulfill my destiny of iconic fame... Joe: Uh... what plan? Danae: My plan to attract the attention of TV producers in order to get my own reality show. Joe: Sigh... OK... so what's your question? Danae: At what point does a misdemeanor cross into being a reality? I'm pretty sure grounding me for something I haven't done yet crosses that line!! Lucy: I think it's called protective custody.
firedome almost 15 years ago
YET????
grinstoya almost 15 years ago
At least she still calling him daddy.
ejcapulet almost 15 years ago
He’s finally grounding her? Thank Heaven!
Wenthral almost 15 years ago
Anything with a baseball bat or a pair of pliers. Trust me on this…
BugsyMaroon almost 15 years ago
”He’s finally grounding her? Thank Heaven!”
Oh. My. God.
We’ve been discussing “Reality TV” here this week, where in some people’s reality dis-enhanced minds, the line between Entertainment-TV-dom and Reality-TV-dom blurs, and it all becomes Sur-Reality-TV-dom …
Folks, welcome to “Reality-Comic-Strip-dom.”
BugsyMaroon almost 15 years ago
”Just wait until puberty, I have sympathy for you Joe.”
Yeah, I remember when Huey, Dewey, and Louie hit puberty. The cartoons just weren’t funny anymore. They started doing drugs, knocking over the gas station over at Gasoline Alley … that wasn’t a pretty story.
Elmer Fudd had to chase ‘em off with his shotgun one time - he usually used blanks, most people didn’t know that. He felt terrible. Didn’t feel like chasing me around for the cartoon filming for six months.
By the time they wound up in one of Dick Tracy’s feature films, I think it was an animated version of Sean Penn’s Bad Boys: The Prequel, it just wasn’t the same.
That’s why they never had major careers in movies when they got past adolescence, even though their juvie records were sealed.
So Danae, you take Dennis the Menace’s and Peter Pan’s advice - don’t listen to these grown ups out here -
Don’t never grow up. Be a toys ‘r’ us … wait for it …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OaHrVa0W0c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8HMSf4O2FM
Hugh B. Hayve almost 15 years ago
Isn’t smoking herb a felony down there in the U.S.?
dipsdayal almost 15 years ago
everything’s a felony… even thinking about it…imagine how many spineless people you’d corrupt…
Lyons Group, Inc. almost 15 years ago
Danae, you and Garfield are having a difficult time staying off Santa’s “naughty list” this year!
DolphinGirl78 almost 15 years ago
So true Josh 1360… along with Calvin… :)
puddleglum1066 almost 15 years ago
Conspiracy to commit a misdemeanor is a felony… and you don’t even have to commit the misdemeanor to be guilty! Danae, you’re almost there! Just tell your plan to Lucy…
wicky almost 15 years ago
Yeah, soon she will be getting “herbed up”.
GROG Premium Member almost 15 years ago
Josh 1360 You can add Sophie (Dog Eat Doug) to that cast of characters.
Didn’t Danae learn anything from that story about the dad, the kid and the balloon. He didn’t get what he was hoping for either.
ottod Premium Member almost 15 years ago
Groundng Danae is like ageing cheese.
brewwitch almost 15 years ago
Hey, it’s a legitimate question.
jaiel almost 15 years ago
Danae it when you have a gun then its “with a deadly weapon.”
Destiny23 almost 15 years ago
“Protective custody”: Protecting her from the punishment she will shortly deserve, or protecting the world from HER??
MurphyHerself almost 15 years ago
The world from her :)
soonerbm07 almost 15 years ago
“Conspiracy to commit a misdemeanor is a felony…”
No it isn’t. Conspiracy to commit a felony is a misdmeanor, not the other way around. The exact legal code to prove this varies with each state.
locoboilerguy almost 15 years ago
I love the look Wiley puts on Joe’s face.
georgelanigan almost 15 years ago
It’s not so much a grounding, but a preemptive strike.
GROG Premium Member almost 15 years ago
Jazzlily I’m certain of it.
DevXIII almost 15 years ago
More like House arrest..
Varnes almost 15 years ago
Wonder what dad’s girl friend has been up to?
jkshaw almost 15 years ago
Jazz, I think his inspiration this time is the state dinner crashers. I’d hope for a felony in their case, but it’s not going to happen.
Sadly enough.
petebogo almost 15 years ago
Love the skull and crossbones coming out of Danae’s mouth. Just the kind of venom little ones like to spout…
mancocapac almost 15 years ago
Meh, Calvin’s been grounded for stuff he hadn’t done yet plenty of times
notinksanymore almost 15 years ago
A felony is any crime for which the penalty is more than one year in prison. A misdemeanor is any crime for which the penalty is six months to one year in prison. A petty crime is anything for which the penalty is less than six months in prison. Some states have abandoned the petty crime distinction and say anything less than a year is a misdemeanor.
Ushindi almost 15 years ago
What I really love is the “Lying to a Federal Agent” law. Even if you make a mistake, forget something, whatever, it’s a felony in the USA, punishable by up to five years in federal prison (think Martha Stewart as just one example). However, it is perfectly permissible for a federal agent to lie to YOU. I am told the reason why interviews are usually done with two agents is so that if you deny what is claimed you said later, too bad. You don’t have to be under oath, by the way, to be guilty. If you want to be really depressed with the powers our legislators have given to the federal government (and the Supreme Court has upheld), read Title 18, United States Code, Section 1001. And I am one of those “commie pinko liberals”, BTW.
BugsyMaroon almost 15 years ago
I forgot about the run away balloon fiasco. (How quickly we forget)
Some of try to, awful hard, but there are others out there who insist on reminding us.
Over and over and over again.
Lurah almost 15 years ago
love it!
reynard61 almost 15 years ago
Dang, Wiley! Are you sure you don’t have a crystal ball?! Next thing you know, Danae’s gonna try to crash a White House party!
Ushindi almost 15 years ago
Sorry, openminded - missed that the first time around. A “Freudian slip”?
BugsyMaroon almost 15 years ago
”Feral government”
Sorry, openminded - missed that the first time around. A “Freudian slip”?”
Yeah, sometimes the truth sneaks up on ya that way, and -
Swiped! and going viral …
Aw! Why’d ya have to fix it !! No courage of your convictions? Afraid of a wussy little ol’ Homeland Security, Ushindi? Ushindi? Are you there?
BugsyMaroon almost 15 years ago
”Bugsy - I’ll go along with the “-dom” part - very very “dom” indeed.”
Bad jokes might not always be funny or on topic - in the eye of The Critic - , but riddle me this, “drawn that way” - when is ”that’s not funny” ever on topic?