Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 20, 2005

Transcript:

"Dear Disneyland, Recently I had the opportunity to visit one of your theme parks. I enjoyed myself greatly, except for one thing... The "it's a small world" ride. During the ride, little people from every county hold hands and sing songs. But as you may know, the world today did not turn out the way Mr. Disney had hoped. So to keep your ride relevant and up-to-date with the times, I suggest you show these harmonious little midgets beating the @#*@ out of each other. They should pummel each other with sticks, punch each other in the head and drown each other in the cold water through which your little 'small world' boats drift. And please change that music... I suggest "Kill 'Em All" by Metallica." "...You know, that's exactly the type of letter that a big, public place like Disneyland could interpret as threatening, causing you to be arrested by the F.B.I... I suggest you think of a nice, safe way of closing the letter." "Best Wishes, Goat."