Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 09, 2011

Transcript:

Goat says, "Hey, Rat, why you all dressed up?" Rat says, "Like the Greek philosopher, Diogenes, who searched the world with his lantern looking for one honest man, I Diogerat, search the world for just one company that gives good service." Goat says, "What have you found so far?" Rat says, "I've found that when I call for service, they put me on hold. I've found that when I finally get through, I get a computerized voice that says, 'Sorry, I didn't catch that.'" Rat says, "I've found that when they do connect me to a person, it's an overseas call center and I can't understand what the person is saying..." Rat says, "So I've got a message for you, my cable company, and you, my phone company, and you, my computer manufacturer..." Rat says, "Mebbe instead of paying your CEO $100 million, you could pay him $90 million and use the rest to properly staff a service center with, oh, I don't know, people who actually pick up the phone, before Diogerat takes his lantern and shoves it!!!" Goat says, "I don't think that's what Diogenes did with his lantern." Rat says, "Diogenes never had my cable company." Pig says, "No cable? No wonder that poor Greek empire crumbled."