Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 23, 2011

A culturally biased test.

That word is unknown in feline society.

Oh, so that explains the shredded upholstery and drapes. If don’t and down are next on the list, Kitty’s headed for remedial class.

Will the remedial class cover “Go away! I’m allergic!”?

Contrary to popular belief, you can train a cat. My last two came when called and walked on leash.Didn’t heel, but didn’t pull either.

Put a cat on a leash!!! Shock Horror, that’s worse than cutting their bits off!!!

@Plods … You are “a responsible pet owner. No bits.” Is the no bits about the cat, you, or both?My Dalmatians had one word for cats ……..Lunch!Imagine – a cat on a leash. It must have been so humiliated.

We once had a cat who would fetch the cigarette wrappers when thrown (those had paper with foil and crinkly cellophane). If you only tossed it a few feet, tho’ she totally ignored it and loved it when tossed through one room into another. When she had kittens, I observed her teaching them, batting one with her foot and making encouraging noises to them. I’m not sure whether she succeeded, because I think those kittens were adopted (or something) and hopefully mom cat was spayed or whichever is done to females. She was a fun cat who also liked to play with a small stream of water in the kitchen sink.

Burleigh — cats are very positive.

“I KAN haz cheezeburger!”

“No”, to them, is from the language of those slobbery things they call dogs.

Of course, being a silly human, I like dogs.

Scientists claim that cats are less intelligent than dogs.

Actually, cats are just too smart to stoop to cooperating with the scientists.

I had a cat who would walk on a leash, but she walked where she felt like walking.

I currently have a cat who will sit, shake, and sit up when requested to if she thinks that’s the only way she’ll get treats. At first, she spends a few minutes trying to convince me that she forgot all of the tricks and should be given treats anyway :)

no want