Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 14, 2011
Transcript:
Pig: Well, I'm off to buy lottery tickets! Goat: Pig, did you know that the odds of you winning the lottery are worse than the odds of you getting attacked by a black bear and a polar bear on the same day? Pig: Whoa. Then I am not gonna waste this on a lottery ticket. Goat: Good for you, Pig. Pig: I'm gonna spend it on a rifle. Goat: Never mind. Pig: Do not show fear. They can smell it.
LLABDDO almost 13 years ago
Bears aren’t fussy eaters Pig, So, if you can outrun Goat, you’re safe.
rayannina almost 13 years ago
A rifle has a better ROI than a lottery ticket.
killacowinWA almost 13 years ago
More likely to get attacked by two different species of bears than to win the lottery. A very improbable day would be for both to happen. Would you be hapy with winning the lottery if it meant you had to be mauled by two bears? Tough question. Have to think on that one.
luckylouie almost 13 years ago
My pet peeve. Almost as bad as Adam and Eve cavorting with dinosaurs.
x_Tech almost 13 years ago
Pig, you should check with the bookmakers for the odds. You could make a killing.
mailinutile2 almost 13 years ago
buy two, Pig, one for each bear
killacowinWA almost 13 years ago
Yep. But happiness and percieved cuteness sells products, with or without a foundation in reality.
Sisyphos almost 13 years ago
Pig, that barstool isn’t going to give you much protection when they come for you! You might as well just volitionally roll over and offer yourself as porkchops. Let Li’l Guard Duck handle the rifle-business!
tigre1 almost 13 years ago
For once Goat is totally sang froid. He has looked into the abyss of Pig’s intellect…
Zebrails almost 13 years ago
Pig, just clobber Goat a good one ’til he sees stars, buy the lottery ticket. The bears will feed on Goat. He never supported you, anyway.
doublepaw almost 13 years ago
If the bears get their way it’s going to be ground hog day !
Brockie almost 13 years ago
Wanna bet?
AnonymousUser almost 13 years ago
I wish we didn’t have to deal with sale’s tax but instead was required to buy a single lottery ticket every day. That would still make it less than what we’d normally pay right? Dunno. It’s 3:50am and I just finished my work before going to sleep so…
gorbag almost 13 years ago
Getting anything approaching what you put into the govm’t is like winning the lottery, AnonymousUser.
shel4 almost 13 years ago
I’m a little worried about myself. Today’s strip makes a strange sort of sense to me!
hariseldon59 almost 13 years ago
Getting mauled by Bears can be painful. Just ask the Detroit Lions.
hariseldon59 almost 13 years ago
You mean Tennessee Tuxedo wasn’t a documentary?
rolleg almost 13 years ago
There is such a thing now as milk that is marketed under the name of “Silk”. Cows don’t drink it, perhaps they produce it? Haha.
Enguneer Premium Member almost 13 years ago
Did anyone see Dude and Dude comic strip today? Someone else playing off of Pearls.
lattewoman almost 13 years ago
Use an elephant gun. Bears are fast and hard to kill.
underwriter almost 13 years ago
@Lovecraft – No, the “S” in “Silk” stands for soy
Sherlock Watson almost 13 years ago
Old joke:“Is it true that a bear won’t hurt you if you carry a gun?”“It depends on how fast you carry it.”
Sherlock Watson almost 13 years ago
Baby cows do drink their mother’s milk, so technically it wouldn’t be a wrong answer.BTW, I that bit on CSI too.
Number Three almost 13 years ago
We only won £45 on the lottery and then the week after that it was £10.
Can’t remember what we spent it on.. Or rather what my MAM spent it on.
LOL xxx
Popeyesforearm almost 13 years ago
May I suggest A Ruger Mark II 7mm in stainless steel? Don’t forget to take that Hunter Safety course before you go bear pluggin’. We’ve had 2 hunters killed in Oregon in the past week by friend/family thinking they were elk. Stupid is as stupid does. MANDATORY safety courses please!
doodoodle almost 13 years ago
either lottery tickets are costy or rifles are cheap
pocounohamster almost 13 years ago
Pig becoming a NRA member? Think Rat will have something to say about that…
hariseldon59 almost 13 years ago
“Cows drink water. Only their calves drink milk till weened.”Actually, having grown up on a dairy farm, I can tell you that it’s not completely unheard of for two adult cows to begin nursing each other (though it is quite rare). That happened a couple of times on our farm; my dad had to put rings in their noses to make them stop.
squirrel500 almost 13 years ago
A RIFLE?! Bang bang.
robinafox almost 13 years ago
That happens to someone every week? Wow!Here’s one I never forgot: you are more likely to be kicked to death by a donkey than die in a plane crash.
tegm almost 13 years ago
okay, this was just brilliant XD
natureboyfig4 Premium Member almost 13 years ago
I’d be armed too if I was made of bacon!
mahnster over 12 years ago
Has ANYONE been attacked by a black bear and a polar bear on the same day? Yes, the lottery has slim slim odds, but I think more people have won the lottery than the other scenario…
Pig111 over 4 years ago
I don’t know about you, but if I got mauled by a black bear, I wouldn’t exactly go hanging out with polar bears later