Monty by Jim Meddick for November 06, 2011
Transcript:
What's wrong, grandpa? Do you need help aiming your tiddly wink? No... It... It's my fingernail... It feels... Numb. Do you sometimes experience full or partial numbness in your fingernails?... You may be suffering from peripheral nail sensitivity disorder. But now there's hope: now there's Nailator. Wow, grandpa! You really improve your aim! Ha! Ha! Timmy! It's all thanks to Nailator! If you try Nailator and experience paralysis in your lower body and/or incontinence, you should discontinue use... Other side effects may include drowsiness, dry mouth, nausea, projectile vomiting, suicidal thoughts, memory loss, blindness, internal hemorrhaging and acute pain in eyelids. If you think you may be suffering from PNSD, consult your doctor and ask if Nailator may be right for you... I better call Dr. Peters' offices. I take it you spaced out during the side effects list. Um I guess so... What did I miss?
tattooedcyberidiot about 13 years ago
I was wondering, is Nailator on the Pro and Semi-pro Tiddliwinks Association’s banned substances list? I already lost two years of a promising career because of Stop-n-Grow
x_Tech about 13 years ago
Thought I had PNSD. Turned out to be a calus on my finger tip from poping open beer cans.Now I use a beer can tab lifter and no side effects.
Sisyphos about 13 years ago
Too true! Meddick has really nailed those commercials! (Err…did I say that?)
phuhknees about 13 years ago
Hastily approved with little oversight by the FDA and now reaping obscene profits for everyone involved except the suckers/victims patients!.Go Big Pharma!
Olddog1 about 13 years ago
Left out tooth and hair loss and random episodes of syncope.
jpsomebody about 13 years ago
Monty drinks beer from a can with a straw?
billyruffian about 13 years ago
“do you need help aiming your tiddly-wink?” Seriously, I had a mouthful of tea when I read that, y’know!
vldazzle about 13 years ago
Those comercials for meds are making us a country of hypocondriacs. All meds are poison and honest docs admit it. I take no poison other than my gin and just eat healthily otherwise. I used to have high cholesterol when I ate what many friends still do. Now I have small portions of organic meat and dairy with only whole grains and LOTS of fruit and veggies!
Varnes about 13 years ago
Dang! I’m experiencing all of that and I’m not taking anything……
Chepi89 about 13 years ago
I like the ads that mention ‘this may cause cancer’ all for yellow toenails or some stupid thing that doesn’t hurt to just live with it. Or the one about thin eye lashes. That one is ridiculous!
DavidLawrence351 about 13 years ago
Love the gag! Treating a trivial condition to engage in a trivial activity for a host of serious side effects. And Monty wants to use it! Cute spoof on those commercials.
iced tea about 13 years ago
They left out impotency.
oldpine52 about 13 years ago
Hey don’t knock tiddly winks till you’ve tried it.
Flogge about 13 years ago
Maybe its just because he’s holding cold drink in his hand. Stubby holder would cure that numb finger. (and help keep drink cold).
JP Steve Premium Member about 13 years ago
As long as he doesn’t stroke his tiddlywink!
Ottodesu about 13 years ago
There is absolutely no treatment that does not have some side effect. The question is always how much per dosage and if the patient is prepared to tolerate it.That even goes for pure water. Drink too much and you will get very sick because of leaching salts and vitamins.