“And beecuzz the Dull computer keyboard is getting sticky, take it out and hose it down. Flush out the hard drive while you’re at it. Then find the Z-U customer file drawer and send it to the Boca branch. Oil up the Dull after it dries, and then we’ll see about scheduling your sick days. I’ll make you into a manager if it kills me.
I see Burl has been building his self-confidence and practicing his stare of authority (staring IS caring!) with that mirror on his desk.
“Help is on the way” but he’s too stupid to know when he needs it.
Orrificial, did you come down to conduct a surprise inspection? You covered the bases so well you gotta be from corporate
And you sound awfully familiar….Is your name….
Oh! Wait! I think I met you when you were on assignment out here…. wasn’t that you, leading that no-hands balloon-passing “game” they made us play at the sales seminar?
Leaky…. as you can see… they let me in the house, so I now won’t need bail…. whew.
As for the rest…. well, what can I say. They removed my post, didn’t they?
M, if you have a …a uh… well, whatever, you could remove your last one from yesterday…. please?No, folks, don’t go look.
The idea of Burl typing the memo 25 times reminds me of someone I tutored about 10 years ago.
She was a retired executive secretary in her 70’s, still an excellent typist, but had never touched a computer.
She had no problem learning to open a word processing program and create a document…. save it, open it again, print it….great.
But I had the hardest time trying to get her to go back into a line and correct a mistake or change a phrase …. she wanted to delete everything back to that point and start over.
The idea that the space would open up for her to type into, and the rest of the text would re-space and re-wrap itself after her additions or deletions…. that was magic, and almost scary.
After all my cajoling, she typed a Christmas note to several relatives, but she printed it out, with a blank space into which she hand wrote the names.
How did Burl get and keep his job? Probably by being the only one who could last long enough after the good people were driven away. I love the sick and “holiday” schedule posted. He takes a “holiday,” then plans on being “sick” after that! I didn’t know April Fool’s day was a holiday. I know I would give up after being told I’d never make it. Then I’d go work for the competition. lol
Good morning all! I think HarryFan sounds like the only reason that Burl is there. Gmforde, I don’t think that’s Burl’s name for sick days and I guess April Fool’s could be a holiday for fools like him. Susan, you and Leaky are not tho only unfortuate people who visited yesterday before coming here. Eeeww!
wow! burl probably got his training at VDoT! he’ s just like some clowns i used to work for there. your tax dollars at…work??? a laugh a day, until you realize these people are doing the things they do On Purpose!
Reading the comments about supervisors and computers reminded me of a couple of supervisors I had several years ago at a printing company I worked for. One had just gotten a computer for her desk. One day she called me in and asked me how to make lines on her document. I had to tell her to use the underline key just like on her typewriter. I figured that using the “draw” key might be too complicated at that point.
A few years later we got a Mac with a 200 mg harddrive (our office had PCs and when they got the 200 mg Mac, they thought they’d hit the jackpot – never mind that we had to get a larger external harddrive, anyway) and this Mac could DO everything. A customer brought in a disk with a PageMaker file (for Mac) on it. We had PageMaker on the PCs but not the Mac.) My boss could not understand that we had to have the PageMaker for Mac program on the Mac to read the file. He thought that because it was a Mac, it didn’t need programs, it would read anything.
@Dave HussellI believe on the IBM Composer the document did have to be retyped unless a paste-over could be used on the galley. I’m trying to remember – I used the Composer, a Varityper, Compugraphic and PageMaker on the PC and Quark on the Mac. Most of those allowed corrections.
Burl, Burl, Burl, you’re wasting your talents at U-Stor-It! I hear the Transportation Safety Administration is hiring. What with your keen intellect, interpersonal skills, and insightfulness you’d be a really good fit with the TSA. They also have great fringe benefits including really spiffy blue uniforms. Heck, if you play your cards right and leverage off your Managerial experience and civil defense volunteer work, you’ll be promoted to TSA Supervisor in no time!
Wait a minute! Why does corporate rely upon Burl to forward those memos anyway? I’m guessing they don’t but Burl thinks its part of his “responsibilities”.
I think Harryfan must be right. But. We know about Ma, but we never hear about Pa. Perhaps he got out of this life as fast as he could.
Burl, I have the solution to your problem. Take these tablets of damp clay and these sharpened reeds and write on them. It’s easy. You’ll like it. Really.
Leaky, the only thing I can think of is he’s probably a pretty good brown-noser….but even so, as you say, who would hire or promote him into that position even with that (cough) quality?
@vldazzle, you’re right, somebody else is planning on being sick. I was up earlier than usual and hadn’t had all my coffee yet. I wouldn’t put it past Burl to try and get those days too.
@Leaky: Oh m’gosh, you’re RIGHT! Burl’s not competent on ANY level, so the Peter Principle could NOT apply to him! Maybe his boss is as incompetent as he is – prolly kin to Dilbert’s pointy-haired boss!
@Dave HussellThe Compugraphics I worked on were probably later – 1980s. I had the computer machine and a monitor. The type showed up on the computer machine and then we would “send” it over to the preview screen. Then I worked for a company that didn’t have the preview screen and as you said, you didn’t really see any mistakes until it was printed out if you didn’t have the preview. But I loved it. I was the best “forms” person around. We worked in points and half points and quarter points. The tabs were awesome.
Actually, though, when I went to PageMaker – I was petrified. It took me forever to work with it. It seemed so unprecise. But now I still use it at home and love it.
Some of the comments today remind me of the old computers I used back when I first learned on a TRS, and before those on the progammable typewriters (I used to always try to have the latest gadgets). I still love my SHARP EL-5500-II which I bought right after articles about it in the WSJ. I had just learned to program in Basic (in my 30s) and wrote many on that little gadget. It still works fine after over 40 years! (only 5 or 6 changes of batteries). Not many things have lasted me that long.
Back when I used to forward a lot, I used “groups”. Most people I know prefer no forwards and it is better to select from my lists when I address a group (as they change addresses).
leakysqueaky712 over 12 years ago
How in the hell did he get to be one??
Morning Marg and companyMarg I told you to trust me………I would not steer you wrong!!
Harryfan over 12 years ago
His father in law owns the place and it allows him to have enough income to move out his father in law’s house.
BurlsTwin over 12 years ago
MemoranDUMB is somewhat fitting here…
ME-MORON-DUMB would have really hit the nail on the head!
Laura Gildwarg over 12 years ago
@Leaky How, you ask? The Peter Principle: he was promoted to his level of incompetence.
orificial over 12 years ago
“And beecuzz the Dull computer keyboard is getting sticky, take it out and hose it down. Flush out the hard drive while you’re at it. Then find the Z-U customer file drawer and send it to the Boca branch. Oil up the Dull after it dries, and then we’ll see about scheduling your sick days. I’ll make you into a manager if it kills me.
“Corporate has their eye on me!”
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 12 years ago
Good Morning Crustwood!
I see Burl has been building his self-confidence and practicing his stare of authority (staring IS caring!) with that mirror on his desk.
“Help is on the way” but he’s too stupid to know when he needs it.
Orrificial, did you come down to conduct a surprise inspection? You covered the bases so well you gotta be from corporate
And you sound awfully familiar….Is your name….
Oh! Wait! I think I met you when you were on assignment out here…. wasn’t that you, leading that no-hands balloon-passing “game” they made us play at the sales seminar?
Leaky…. as you can see… they let me in the house, so I now won’t need bail…. whew.
As for the rest…. well, what can I say. They removed my post, didn’t they?
M, if you have a …a uh… well, whatever, you could remove your last one from yesterday…. please?No, folks, don’t go look.
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 12 years ago
The idea of Burl typing the memo 25 times reminds me of someone I tutored about 10 years ago.
She was a retired executive secretary in her 70’s, still an excellent typist, but had never touched a computer.
She had no problem learning to open a word processing program and create a document…. save it, open it again, print it….great.
But I had the hardest time trying to get her to go back into a line and correct a mistake or change a phrase …. she wanted to delete everything back to that point and start over.
The idea that the space would open up for her to type into, and the rest of the text would re-space and re-wrap itself after her additions or deletions…. that was magic, and almost scary.
After all my cajoling, she typed a Christmas note to several relatives, but she printed it out, with a blank space into which she hand wrote the names.
gmforde over 12 years ago
How did Burl get and keep his job? Probably by being the only one who could last long enough after the good people were driven away. I love the sick and “holiday” schedule posted. He takes a “holiday,” then plans on being “sick” after that! I didn’t know April Fool’s day was a holiday. I know I would give up after being told I’d never make it. Then I’d go work for the competition. lol
GROG Premium Member over 12 years ago
His boss must be someone like Burl for Burl to get that job.
vldazzle over 12 years ago
Good morning all! I think HarryFan sounds like the only reason that Burl is there. Gmforde, I don’t think that’s Burl’s name for sick days and I guess April Fool’s could be a holiday for fools like him. Susan, you and Leaky are not tho only unfortuate people who visited yesterday before coming here. Eeeww!
dfowensby over 12 years ago
wow! burl probably got his training at VDoT! he’ s just like some clowns i used to work for there. your tax dollars at…work??? a laugh a day, until you realize these people are doing the things they do On Purpose!
noellasue over 12 years ago
Reading the comments about supervisors and computers reminded me of a couple of supervisors I had several years ago at a printing company I worked for. One had just gotten a computer for her desk. One day she called me in and asked me how to make lines on her document. I had to tell her to use the underline key just like on her typewriter. I figured that using the “draw” key might be too complicated at that point.
A few years later we got a Mac with a 200 mg harddrive (our office had PCs and when they got the 200 mg Mac, they thought they’d hit the jackpot – never mind that we had to get a larger external harddrive, anyway) and this Mac could DO everything. A customer brought in a disk with a PageMaker file (for Mac) on it. We had PageMaker on the PCs but not the Mac.) My boss could not understand that we had to have the PageMaker for Mac program on the Mac to read the file. He thought that because it was a Mac, it didn’t need programs, it would read anything.
noellasue over 12 years ago
@Dave HussellI believe on the IBM Composer the document did have to be retyped unless a paste-over could be used on the galley. I’m trying to remember – I used the Composer, a Varityper, Compugraphic and PageMaker on the PC and Quark on the Mac. Most of those allowed corrections.
Houndhollerer over 12 years ago
Burl, Burl, Burl, you’re wasting your talents at U-Stor-It! I hear the Transportation Safety Administration is hiring. What with your keen intellect, interpersonal skills, and insightfulness you’d be a really good fit with the TSA. They also have great fringe benefits including really spiffy blue uniforms. Heck, if you play your cards right and leverage off your Managerial experience and civil defense volunteer work, you’ll be promoted to TSA Supervisor in no time!
MissScarlet Premium Member over 12 years ago
Wait a minute! Why does corporate rely upon Burl to forward those memos anyway? I’m guessing they don’t but Burl thinks its part of his “responsibilities”.
mikie2 over 12 years ago
I think Harryfan must be right. But. We know about Ma, but we never hear about Pa. Perhaps he got out of this life as fast as he could.
Burl, I have the solution to your problem. Take these tablets of damp clay and these sharpened reeds and write on them. It’s easy. You’ll like it. Really.
Hussell over 12 years ago
Didn’t he have to type out the letters or was he at least smart enough to print out 25 copies from one source?
GROG Premium Member over 12 years ago
Leaky, the only thing I can think of is he’s probably a pretty good brown-noser….but even so, as you say, who would hire or promote him into that position even with that (cough) quality?
gmforde over 12 years ago
@vldazzle, you’re right, somebody else is planning on being sick. I was up earlier than usual and hadn’t had all my coffee yet. I wouldn’t put it past Burl to try and get those days too.
Laura Gildwarg over 12 years ago
@Leaky: Oh m’gosh, you’re RIGHT! Burl’s not competent on ANY level, so the Peter Principle could NOT apply to him! Maybe his boss is as incompetent as he is – prolly kin to Dilbert’s pointy-haired boss!
junemmoffatt over 12 years ago
Burl is doing his best to keep the Post Office in business!
noellasue over 12 years ago
@Dave HussellThe Compugraphics I worked on were probably later – 1980s. I had the computer machine and a monitor. The type showed up on the computer machine and then we would “send” it over to the preview screen. Then I worked for a company that didn’t have the preview screen and as you said, you didn’t really see any mistakes until it was printed out if you didn’t have the preview. But I loved it. I was the best “forms” person around. We worked in points and half points and quarter points. The tabs were awesome.
Actually, though, when I went to PageMaker – I was petrified. It took me forever to work with it. It seemed so unprecise. But now I still use it at home and love it.
vldazzle over 12 years ago
Burl’s filing is strange. Backwards AND leaves out big portions and the employee addresses may be from before Crustwood had streets
vldazzle over 12 years ago
Some of the comments today remind me of the old computers I used back when I first learned on a TRS, and before those on the progammable typewriters (I used to always try to have the latest gadgets). I still love my SHARP EL-5500-II which I bought right after articles about it in the WSJ. I had just learned to program in Basic (in my 30s) and wrote many on that little gadget. It still works fine after over 40 years! (only 5 or 6 changes of batteries). Not many things have lasted me that long.
vldazzle over 12 years ago
Back when I used to forward a lot, I used “groups”. Most people I know prefer no forwards and it is better to select from my lists when I address a group (as they change addresses).