Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 17, 2012
Transcript:
Rat: What are you reading? Goat: This comedian's autobiography. He talks a lot about growing up and how his parents messed him up. Rat: Interesting. So his parents messed him up, huh? I don't suppose that's a little bit like the story of, uhh... EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET?? Goat: I think I know why your blood pressure is so high. Rat: Because there are so many morons?
Sherlock Watson over 12 years ago
I’m guessing that Rat’s parents played a lot of baseball, and Rat was the ball.÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷In the last panel, Paris is soaked in beer. How apt.
margueritem over 12 years ago
No, because your parents messed you up, RAT!
finale over 12 years ago
Rat goes “Lewis Black” on poor Goat.
wvhappypappy over 12 years ago
I’m pretty sure I read in a well respected medical journal that morons raise blood pressure…
naturally_easy over 12 years ago
Nice save with the beer mug, Goat.
ursamaj over 12 years ago
So true! Unfortunately, what Rat doesn’t understand is that each person was messed up in a unique way. That’s why there are so many versions out there. You want boring, read a happy person’s autobiography, The few of them out there are all pretty much the same. (With a nod and a wink to Count Leo Tolstoy.)
Hillbillyman over 12 years ago
No, it is because they are so many filthy loud mouth Rats in the world.
casperjfox over 12 years ago
I love the beer glass on Goat’s horn. Nice touch.
knight1192a over 12 years ago
Rat, just because you think you are more important than everyone else in the world doesn’t mean their messed up if they don’t grovel at your feet Actually you’re more messed up than the rest of the world and just can’t accept that.
vikipa over 12 years ago
Ever heard of a Typo? Sweetie! Lay off the coffee so early in the morning!
SwimsWithSharks over 12 years ago
It’s my job as a parent to damage my child and provide sufficient excuses until his or her spouse can shoulder the blame.
Strong51Bad over 12 years ago
Steph, Rat, you are right on. Denying something doesn’t make it go away
JGordonFan24 over 12 years ago
I cannot wait to read Rat’s autobiography. There’s a TV movie of the week for you.
zero over 12 years ago
Gee -every other [as in 01 01 …. ] person on this planet is what messed me up.
the burser over 12 years ago
comedians that were messed up when they were little, lets see……. billy cosby, jeff dumham, etc. etc. in other words: all of them
Sisyphos over 12 years ago
I think it’s time to cut Rat off. No more booze served for him. He was already shouting when he first questioned Goat. Besides, the bar owes Goat a debt for his having saved that beer mug pre-cardiac incident Rat spilled.
jmartin1955 over 12 years ago
And then we have our own kids. LOL
StelBel over 12 years ago
IT’s A TYPO!
peabodyboy over 12 years ago
Like Clarence Darrow said, ""The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children."
XtremePearls over 12 years ago
wow.
donztmm over 12 years ago
This would be funnier if it wasn’t for the fact that there are too many people who actually live this way…
Ross1001 over 12 years ago
I’m guessing tigre1’s parents messed him up.
Packratjohn Premium Member over 12 years ago
My, but we do put the FUN back into dysFUNctional…..
galanti over 12 years ago
When did Goat lose the beard? I was looking at an early Pearls anthology and he had one.
The Old Wolf over 12 years ago
Rat is a great poster boy for all the jerks in the world; the irony is that he is what he hates.
Stagger Lee over 12 years ago
Caffeine overload?
Varnes over 12 years ago
Will somebody please explain the kerfluffle? I got here late…
Number Three over 12 years ago
Don’t these ‘morons’ just make your blood boil, Rat?
I love the third panel.
LOL xxx
Arianne over 12 years ago
There ought to be a law… anyone who gets rich writing about how their parents screwed them up should be required to set aside a portion of their earnings to finance a follow up story, should their children feel the need to write one.
Popeyesforearm over 12 years ago
Goat’s new name, “Foghorn Mughorn”
bmonk over 12 years ago
Hmmm. So many persons believe that their parents messed them up, but deny the doctrine of Original Sin? Who’da thunk it?
dirtking239 over 12 years ago
Haha that’s so true. I’ve read a couple comedian’s autobiogrophies. But to be honest, comedian’s like lewis black and george carlin got a little more messed of then your average joe.
tegm over 12 years ago
funny how morons are always other people, not you, huh?
Bye Bye Jeffy over 3 years ago
i think hes reading ‘born a crime’