Cul de Sac by Richard Thompson for November 12, 2016
November 11, 2016
November 13, 2016
Transcript:
Alice: Petey, can I be in your phases of the moon school project? I'm moon-faced, everybody says so! Petey: Hmmm- Alice: I have such great features! Petey: Okay, you can pose for it, but do something about that nose. It looks like a perch on a birdhouse.
“Young man, I am afraid your speech was a trifle short. You could have said at least one hundred other things, varying the tone of your words. Let me give you some examples.
In an aggressive tone: “Sir, if I had a nose like that, I would amputate it!”
Friendly: “When you drink from a cup your nose must get wet. Why don’t you drink from a bowl?”
Descriptive: “Tis a rock! A peak! A cape! No, it’s a peninsula!”
Curious: “What is that large container for? To hold your pens and ink?”
Truculent: “When you light your pipe and puff smoke from your nose the neighbors must think the chimney’s afire.”
Considerate: “Be careful when you bow your head or you might lose your balance and fall over.”
Thoughtful: “Place an umbrella over your nose to keep its color from fading in the sun.”
Arcane: “Sir, only the beast that Aristophanes calls the hippocampelephantocamelos could have had such a solid lump of flesh and bone below its forehead.”
Cavalier: “A hook to hang your hat upon.”
Emphatic: “No breeze, O majestic nose, can give thee cold – save when the north winds blow.”
Dramatic: “When it bleeds, it must be like the Red Sea.”
Admiring: “What a fine sign for a perfume shop!”
Lyrical: “Is that a conch shell? And are you Triton risen from the ocean?”
Naïve: “Is that monument open to the public?”
Rustic: “That don’t look like a nose. It’s either a big cucumber or a little watermelon.”
Military: “The enemy is charging! Aim your cannon!”
Practical: “A nose like that has one advantage: it keeps your feet dry in the rain."- Cyrano de Bergerac